Tuesday, October 03, 2006

You Are On Notice Monday

There was something in the Idaho air yesterday because Monday was not a pleasant day for me and Mrs. Shife. Besides the fact that it was Monday and all the fun stuff that accompanies the beginning of the work, two other incidents left a lasting impression on us.

For me it was the joy of discovering that my zipper broke in the middle of a department meeting. Now I have already discussed the dangers of pleated pants in the office environment. Well couple that with a broken zipper and it looks like you just opened the doors to the big top. So I can imagine all my co-workers, after they got a good shot of my man panties, saying something like, “I was just thinking to myself that this meeting really needs a good underwear shot. Thank goodness that Mr. Shife is a team player.”
Here is a tip: Looking like you have a boner (again read about the dangers of pleated pants if you are wondering how an erection got thrown into the mix) and having a broken zipper are not a winning combination in the work place. I just wanted to clarify that in case some of you were misinformed.

Mrs. Shife’s winning moment involved a can of Starbucks Doubleshot Espresso. She hit the afternoon wall and needed a little boost to make it through the rest of the day. And as luck would have it, she had a chilled Starbucks waiting that could provide the aforementioned boost and make the rest of her day bearable. So she pops open the can, brings it up to her mouth, smiles with delight as she is about to be jolted with throngs of caffeine warriors, and throws back a nice big gulp of … yuckiness.
The can she picked up expired on 8/28/06, and so the moment the drink touched her lips it instantly got the “Get the hell out of my mouth” signal and this convenient, bold, authentic Starbucks coffee experience got introduced to the carpet of her office in about two nanoseconds.

Really looking forward to the rest of the week.

12 comments:

mist1 said...

One experience with a carton of chunky chocolate milk in elementary school has turned me off for life.

Jon Boles said...

Mr Shife: Sorry to have to do it again, but had to start from scratch due to some family issues as well as a template error. New link under my profile. Thanks, buddy.

Phats said...

Hang in there shife it's almost hump day! I hope you don't mind I laughed at your zipper story.

I have done that with milk, what your wife did, not a good ending

Jon said...

Funny... I have that exact same reaction whenever I drink Starbucks. I'm not too fond of them.

angel, jr. said...

Fake boners and throw-up. Not a good way to start the week. I hope you guys are having a better one now!!

ruby rocks said...

i think the guys in jackass 2 could probably give you some tips on the zipper problem. they could probably help the missus pass the starbucks through her nose too.

LBseahag said...

yeah, what Angel Jr. just said...

Fake boners are just men who talk.

barefoot_mistress said...

Oh man, you are so funny!
I think you are obsessed with the garments that go below your waist!
Either that, or you just dont have good pants luck! LOL
What do I know, Im on second glass of wine! LOL

Nutz On A Roll said...

What did you think of Lost last night?

Mr Shife said...

I thought Lost was good, but damn it, I wanted some more answers. I think the audience deserved a little more after waiting all summer for new episodes.

Tina said...

LOL You guys should have your own show... Is you week getting any better? :)

Design Goddess said...

If it's any consolation, since most of my dress pants have TONS of fasteners that are more annoying than functional, after I get done with those, I tend to forget to zip! At least yours is just an isolated episode.

Sorry to hear about Mrs Shife's overpriced caffiene drink. Does it make you wonder what exactly is in it, if only a little over a month passes after the expiration date and the product is THAT bad?!

Here's hoping your weekend makes up for Monday! :)