Friday, October 20, 2006

This thong's not for you

OK, here is an awesome way to start the weekend. First let me set things up for you.
Mrs. Shife is going out of town this weekend with her sister. I was to meet my lovely wife at lunchtime so we could switch cars, and her sister was also meeting Mrs. Shife at our house. So there is the premise, and here is the action.
I was the first to arrive at humble abode, and since I was not going to see Mrs. Shife all weekend, I wanted to make her laugh. I greeted the fat basset, and then headed to the bedroom to get out the device that would induce giggles. I love going for a cheap laugh at my own expense and I knew this would do the trick. After much shuffling through my panty drawer, I find the 100% cotton masterpiece – a white thong. Don’t ask me how this banana hammock came into my possession, but I own one, and I swear I have never worn it. I have never even broken it out for my wife. It just has been buried in the drawer for years. Anyway, I throw it on, and any manly feelings I had were tossed out the window. Nothing about wearing these plum smugglers makes you feel sexy, at least to me. So while I am changing, I am completely oblivious to the fact that Mrs. Shife’s sister arrived and came inside. She saw the vehicle in the driveway and thought Mrs. Shife was already in the house. So she comes in and is hanging out in the TV room.
Here is the recap for you scoring at home: I am in the back bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of white thongs. My sister-in-law is in the TV room waiting for Mrs. Shife, thinking she is in the back bedroom getting ready or something like that. Do you see where this is going?
Anyway the phone rings so I head out of the bedroom, down the hall, take a right past the laundry room, and walk into the TV room to get the phone and redefine the term embarrassed. The look on my sister-in-law’s face was priceless, and I am sure it was even better when I turned around to run back into the bedroom and she saw that I was wearing a thong.


Yep, that is what I needed to make me feel closer to my sister-in-law: Let her see me with a piece of string up my ass. 

Have a great weekend.



P.S. And no that is not a picture of me in case you were wondering.

13 comments:

Denise said...

LMAO!

I demand to see a picture of you in said thong!

Mr Shife said...

Maybe for Christmas.

Phats said...

HAHAHA That's classic love it. Thanks for sparing us the real picture haha! Glad you didn't say she tucked a buck

Jon said...

You seem like a pretty cool guy; so I pray we never get to see a picture of you in the thong.
I have, however, worn a pair for the wife. Once the laughing stopped, she said it was "cute and creepy".

angel, jr. said...

I just laughed so much that a little pee drizzled out my ding-ding.
You wrote the word 'panty'.

ruby rocks said...

gosh, having the wife you out of town on the weekend the world series starts. you poor man!

T. Leach said...

Nice to know you're alive. Does this mean you're set to make your triumphant return to the world of sports-blogging? We're expanding the operation ...

Tina said...

HAHAHAHA Plum smugglers!! Hope it was snug enough for ya. You have the greatest stories lol and yep I knew that pic was from Jackass - still gotta see that.

LOL You crack me up

Design Goddess said...

ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa

No one has as good of stories as you do Shife! :D

Emily said...

"ding-ding"... how many years of medical school have you had??? :)

ah matt, matt, matt.... i really wish sarah was blogging because quite frankly, it must be really interesting to be her. lol

Molly said...

I guess you fulfilled your original purpose to make Mrs. Shife laugh.

I imagine they laughed about it all weekend. ;)

Cynthia said...

So funny. I'm kind of curious to see the picture of you in a thong myself.

Luke said...

That's awesome. Funny.