Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Think before you speak

Here are some reasons why you should think before you speak!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back ... or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did ....

FIRST TESTIMONY
A woman walked into a hair salon with her husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" The woman turned around and walked back out and never went back. Her husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY
A woman was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. She was unhappy with the women's type she had been using. After browsing for several minutes, she was approached by a man who works at the store. He asked if he could help her. Without thinking, she looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY
A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The woman’s sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! The female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

15 comments:

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

If I had been on that set, I wouldn't have been able to leave. Someone would have had to carry me out.

Emily said...

Ah... yes, yes. Reminds me of this one. "The young girl working behind the espresso counter turns to the man, tilts the whip cream can from side to side, and asks 'are you into whipped cream'". LOL Well, you kinda had to be there.

I like that 8 inches one. I know I have seen that tape on something.

Denise said...

The first one is about me. Who told you?

barefoot_mistress said...

Oh god...LOL..that is so funny!

mist1 said...

So, how much is a blow job?

angel, jr. said...

And these were all said by women!!

leo myshkin said...

they kinda remind me of the day me and ruby had a pork sandwich in the mosque.

next time we'll slaugher a lamb.

leo myshkin said...

they kinda remind me of the day me and ruby had a pork sandwich in the mosque.

next time we'll slaughter a lamb.

Phats said...

haha! I love these so funny shife, thanks for giving me a laugh I have had the day from hell man!

Keep em coming, and Go Vandals!

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

Leo just made me spray the monitor with Mountain Dew.

LBseahag said...

you mean its not appropriate to ask for a blowjob at the salon? Come on, the little asian chicks there are hot!!!

Phats said...

Jesus shife the Vandals going for a bowl bid or what?!

Design Goddess said...

ha ha haaaa!

I've said some things I wish I hadn't, but nothing that was funny just stupid. What can I say? I'm blonde!! :D

missy said...

Those women tsk tsk..

Fuad said...

teehee..

that's funny... specially the last one.