Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Yokozuna

I have no idea where the origins of this juvenile prank began but for some reason its memory surfaced in my gray matter recently, and now I must release it into the wild.
Basically, a Yokozuna is an act where one places his bare bottom on another’s face in stealth or Ninja mode, shouts Yokozuna, and then hilarity usually follows unless of course you are the one sleeping and wake up to find a hairy, smelly turd cutter in your face.
Does that make sense?
Here is the breakdown: Bob is sleepy so he decides to take a nap. Bob’s roommates, Ed and Theodore, are not tired and full of mischief because they just split a fifth of whiskey. Ed and Theodore notice the slumbering Bob. Ed talks Theodore into giving Bob a Yokozuna. Theodore drops his shorts, and does his best imitation of a Ninja while he hovers his bare ass over Bob’s face. Ed and Theodore nearly give it away because they are giggling like a couple of school girls anticipating the oncoming butt splash Bob is about to receive. Ed pulls himself together momentarily and instructs Theodore to do the same. Theodore maneuvers his assy matter into position, and then Ed yells Yokozuna at the top of his lungs. Still half-asleep, Bob wakes up quite confused and unsure of his surroundings. His baffled mind tries to comprehend why someone shouted Toyota and why there is a foul smell in the air. And why are people laughing? He raises his head to gauge the situation when his forward motion is abruptly stopped by something … something with flesh and hair and stench and OH MY GOD Did Ed and Theodore give me a Yokozuna? At last Bob’s mind registers that he is now enjoying a face-full of ass compliments of his roommates.
So there you go kiddies, please pass along the fun-filled gift that is Yokozuna.