Tuesday, April 04, 2006

More Revelations

Thank you all for your kind words.
Everything is cool with me and my ear. I did enjoy the day off after my problem was taken care of. Me and the fat basset enjoyed some time on the couch and watched "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."
But the show must goes on.
And now that you know a little more about me I figured you could handle some more confessions from Mr. Shife.
  • My ringtone is "The Final Countdown" by Europe. Why? Because I love Gob on "Arrested Development" and that was his theme music.
  • I spent six days in jail during my undergraduate days at the University of Idaho. Long story short, I was at the wrong place at wrong time. Me and two buddies were charged with misdemeanors but the judge wanted to teach us a lesson so we got to spend two weekends in jail.
  • During this altercation, I was being questioned by the police and they knew I was lying. I was also bombed out of my mind. Anyway, they said they wanted the truth, and Mr. Shife got a shit eating grin on his face and looked the cop right in the eye and slurred, "You want the truth. You can't handle the truth." Ummmm, let's just say the police officer was not impressed with my Jack Nicholson impersonation.
  • When I find something I like I stick with it. I have eaten at Quizno's for probably a good 2 years and I have ordered the same thing every single time. I am a creature of habit I guess. I just love their Italian sub.
  • I drank myself out of college (a tiny school in Carlinville, IL called Blackburn College) when I was 18 and enlisted in the Navy. I spent a few years being a seaman in Florida. It was fun but I picked up a nasty habit .... chewing tobacco.
  • I chewed for nearly 10 years and finally quit 5 years ago. The only reason I quit was because the doctor had to cut a small part of my tongue off and told me I would lose the rest of it if I didn't stop. The tongue grew back and I am been clean since then. It was probably the hardest I have ever done.
  • I never have liked chest hair and I shaved it pretty regular for about 15 years. I do some regular manscaping now but I let it grow out a little bit.
  • I was accepted into film school.
  • Some of you know who Pat Tillman is, and I was fortunate enough to meet him before he left for the Army. It was one of the most memorable days of my life.
  • I love basset hounds. My ultimate dream job would be to run a basset hound rescue. I grew up with the breed, and I have had four in my life. Mrs. Shife and I have had Quincy for almost six years and know she can't imagine any other type of dog in our lives .
  • I consider myself a funny fellow but I only know one joke by heart. It is about a mayonnaise jar and flies.
  • I grew up a military brat and lived in Nevada, North Dakota, Alaska, Illinois, Japan, and Idaho. I consider myself an Idahoan now since I have lived here for the most part since 1985.
  • Born in St. Louis, and love the baseball Cardinals but decided to stick with the football Cardinals when they moved to Arizona. It has been always been tough living with that decision since they suck ass.
  • And for some reason I fell in love with the University of North Carolina Tar Heels basketball program. I think it was mostly due to Michael Jordan, but for whatever reason I bleed Carolina Blue even though I have no affiliations with the state.
  • The Dean Dome is on my list of places to visit and watch the Heels play. I also want to go to the Little League World Series, the College World Series, and spend a summer hitting as many Major League Baseball parks as possible.

OK, that is enough for now. I don't want to let all my secrets out.
Have a nice day.

41 comments:

Phats said...

Damn it shife now i have the final countdown stuck in my head! My ringtone is Hail Purdue.

That's funny you mentioned blackburn, I just got a recruiting letter from them for one of my girl's on my tennis team, I had never heard of it.

basset hounds are awesome dogs!
Enjoy your hump day

nicole said...

Eric's with you on the chest hair bit (not that you WANTED that type of personal information about Eric but I thought I'd share it anyway).

I can't believe I'm the SECOND person to respond to your post. How often does THAT happen??

Thanks for a good Wednesday kickoff. :)

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

I picked up dip working in dispatch. I'd quit smoking but suddenly got more desperate for nicotine with all of the stress, and due to the inability to go downstairs and smoke frequently, I thought dip would be a safe bet. That lasted about a year until I saw the receding gumline. I'm usually fairly apathetic to myself, but not when it's something that makes you look off, like a lot of missing teeth.

Blonde said...

There is a Bassett Hound parade where in live on April 22nd. I love Bassett Hounds.

Manscaping is a must.

I forgot you were a Navy man...

madame P said...

makes me want to come down to visit you...

Jon said...

I'll have to do a "confessions" post of my own someday. Sorry to steal the idea, but everyone knows I have no original ideas of my own.

the_mrs said...

Part of your tongue cut off? Jail for 6 days? Shaving your chest?

Who knew?? :)

My step dad used to have a basset hound. He would heat it's food up (Bil-Jac) in the microwave, and if anyone did not heat up the food, the dog would take it's paw and dump the food out as an act of defiance. That dog also peed on my bed when we left her home one night.

I'm not sure how I feel about basset hounds ;)

lilly said...

I'm sure anyone who had part of their tongue taken off would stop... Atleast you quit while you were a head.

I am a person of routine also... No matter where I go I always order the same thing. I dont want to take the chance of ordering something and not liking it. Especially when I'm hungry.

T. Leach said...

Let's see ... gay ... gay ... nope, don't see it. Maybe next post. ;-)

angel, jr. said...

Wow, that was a lot to take in. Thanks for sharing. It's great to know, our favorite blogger is human.

Johnson said...

"My ringtone is "The Final Countdown" by Europe."

They're leaving together, but still they stand tall. And maybe they've seen us and welcome us all.

I hate ringtones for the record, however, if forced to choose one, it'd definitely be a song along the lines of Final Countdown.

the duck said...

i hear you angel, i know shife personally and while he may be human, he definitely gives off some demi-god type of vibe. it's difficult to look directly at him, such is his glory.

mrshife said...

Shit, Duck, I guess I am going to have to wear some waders to make it through the crap you are spewing.

Luke said...

Chest hair = evil

Pollyanna said...

Shife, your confessions made me think of that SNL skit "Secrets." It was usually a person like Tom Hanks, letting the world know he was, in fact, "not the nicest guy in Hollywood." (You can tell me if you're secretly an SNL writer.)

I would LOVE to hear more about this six days in jail story. I loved the sass.

And OMG, Mrs... I laughed my ass off at your post. Was the dog's name Paris Hilton?

Denise said...

Fuuuuuuck! I've got that damn song stuck in my head now. I spent years trying to forget about it.

LMAO at your comment to the cop. Have you ever been featured on "COPS"?

Quizno's kicks ass!

Hmmmm...I like semen...er...SEAmen. Did ya get any tattoos? Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Eddie Van Halen (my oldest son is named Edward Wolfgang...yes, I'm a EVH fan) lost part of his tongue, too. I don't know if his grew back or not...I don't spend much time in his mouth.

The only joke I know about a mayonnaise jar is : What's grosser than gross? Getting to the bottom of a mayonnaise jar and finding a rubber.

The Scarlett said...

Man, I'm trying to take that all in!

My current ring tone is Haddaway's 'What is Love' although I have different ring tones for different people.

I'm glad you ditched the tobacco. You need your tongue!

DaMasta said...

Heh.. you said seamen.

Jane said...

Wow, I now feel like I know everything about you!! Kinda freaky. Not you, just the knowing.

What? You don't have a cockroach army of your own? I don't keep them in my apartment, but I'm training them to rid the world of morons! muwhahahahahaha

yellowdog granny said...

i dont own a cell phone and after reading cell by stephen king ..i may never get one..but if i do..instead of a ring tone i want it to say "answer the fucking phone"

Design Goddess said...

after reading your post I've realized that I lead a very boring life. I mean, I'm not even cool enough to have the ringtone of a bad magician...uh I mean illusionist on my phone.

I'm glad to hear you quit dipping. I think that's a really nasty habit. But I learned that the tongue regenerates. That's my "learn something new every day" lesson for today. :)

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Scottish Toodler said...

You bad boy!!! I can't tell you how many times I have been arrested (and how many states, etc), but I have only been in jail a few times. Ever since you asked about what would your theme song be I have been thinking about it. It has become an obsession. I settle on one and then I hear another song or think of something and then it starts all over again. Right now I think the Xena theme should play every time I enter a room.

missy said...

I missed the ear post but will catch up... promise!

I just want to say hi while I have 10 mins left before we go on a trek to a Bedouin village :-)

Hello from Dahab, Egypt!

meghansdiscontent said...

Thank you for sharing so much!!
It was VERY interesting reading. :)
You're a special person.
I mean that in a good way, not a short bus way.

leo myshkin said...

nothing like being a guest of the state for a few days. it's a game for young men though.

it sounds like you've passed many tests.

Sophie T. Mishap said...

Hmmm...The Final Countdown and chest hair. It's almost too much to take!

Dirk the Feeble said...

We don't have a Quizno's nearby, so I rarely get to eat there, but the Italian's the only thing I get too (but with no lettuce, Quizno's lettuce is funky).

Molly said...

I, like pollyanna, would love to hear more about 6 days in jail myself.

I have often bragged that I could do a week or 2 standing on my head. I have even wanted to be given a week or 2 sentence just to get the fuck away from people a few times

I'm probably full of shit though

White Dade said...

Moscow cops can eat a dick. I was there in HS several times and I did not care for them in the lsightest.

Oh, and agian, a sailor who shaves his chest...Let the stereotypes continue.

SugarHigh said...

i love it when you tell us who you really are.
oh, and consider me your affilitaion to North Carolina, since that is where I'm from. ;)

so glad you stopped the chewing. That is a sure fire way to lose your tongue and sometimes your whole jaw! yikes. Tongues grow back? seriously? i did not know that.

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Jane said...

Oh, spring has come and gone here in Texas. We are into summer now!! However, we had a couple of "pop-up" thunderstorms today. They come out of no where, last about 10 minutes and then die out. Then we go back to hot, sunny and muggy. Woo-hoo!!!

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