Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

Some of you may have seen these before and some of you may have not.
But it is interesting nonetheless so enjoy.

  • Ever wonder about those people who spend a couple of bucks on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
  • Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
  • So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and theTampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
  • If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that someone enjoys it?
  • There are three religious truths:
    a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
    c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.
  • If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people fromHolland called Holes?
  • Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  • If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  • Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stalebread to begin with?
  • Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
  • If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
  • Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
  • What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
  • I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're crammingfor their final exam.
  • If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  • Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
  • Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
  • As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put thetwo words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "THEIRS"?

23 comments:

missy said...

It did make me go hmmmm....

She said...

Some of that makes so much sense!

Rocky (Racquel) said...

TOO FUNNY! Especially since I have been discussing the legal meaning of the word "SUFFER" in a contract! hehe

Blonde said...

I buy Evian spray and spray my face with it. It is refreshing!

Peeing section in a pool makes me never want to go into a pool again...ewwwwww...the whole reason why I don't go to the pool at my grandmother's community. All of those old people with bladder problems. I am gagging.

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

Ironic that Evian is naive, because that's what you are if you think the shit really comes from a spring.

nicole said...

I've heard many LIKE these but never these, specifically. And they were all hilarious.

GO TENNESSEE TEATS!!!!

Steph said...

Baahaha, I love those things. Make you think hey. Us hunanoids can be so retarded some times.

angel, jr. said...

I had to read it twice, cause I was hmmmmm way too much.

joey♥ said...

haah. they made me go hmm and then laugh. funny stuff you have here. nice blog.

Phats said...

I have not seen these before, and thought they were great!! Thanks for sharing shife. Hilarious!

leo myshkin said...

i guess this is why vulcans find us illogical and are reluctant to share their warp techonology. and i want a space ship so bad!!!

Christopher said...

haha! Excellent! That's really got me thinking (and i don't do much of that at work)

Jon said...

Actually, I honed my swearing skills while playing video games. Needless to say, I wasn't very good at Super Mario 3 back in the day.

none - ya said...

I want my money from those fucking bastards. Damn IRS. Their like theives, but it's legal. Ugh!

madame P said...

did you come up with these, cuz if so, you're a freeeeking genius !!!

my favorite, the baptist joke... that's hilarious !!

Luke said...

It all comes together now. Great thoughts!

mona said...

I laughed at the cramming for their final exam...that was a funny list there Shife.

the_mrs said...

My brain hurts now....

White Dade said...

You gorgot to wonder if Ella Fitzgerlald would chang her name if she married Darth Vader.

Big Mama said...

As always, great post! I have seen similar things before, but never these.
I have to admit I almost got in trouble because of you.... Here I am at work minding my own business, shamming and surfing the net. I come over here and start reading and laugh out loud. Oh great, I work in a law firm, what's so funny about legal stuff, nothing! So I had to compose myself and try reading with a straight face. Thanks a lot, LOL!!! *SHhhhhh...*

Sophie T. Mishap said...

I love that Naive quandry...it's an oldie, but a goodie.

none - ya said...

You know what I wonder....where the fuck is Eric Estrada when you fucking need him?

Dirk the Feeble said...

You are an inspiration to us all.

The Tennessee Tits was the best one.