Thursday, March 02, 2006

Random Acts of Shifeness

I am liking the post where I spill out my brains to all my unsuspecting readers so much that I am going to try and do it once a week. So welcome to the first official edition of Random Acts of Shifeness.

  • I am way overdue for a visit to the washer and dryer. I am down to my third-string underwear. What am I talking about? Well I figure everyone has first-string underwear. The panties that you always grab and throw on no matter the occasion. Well I have run out of those, so I looked at the bench and starting wearing the undies that get some play but they are not my favorites. Well I am out of those too. I am wearing the last-ditch cotton scrubs that are buried in the bottom of my drawer. So I like to say I am wearing my third-string or walk-on underwear.
  • And you might be thinking why doesn’t your wife do your laundry? Well because I do my own laundry and it is 2006. The wife of Shife and I have been together almost 9 years but we don’t share laundry. She does hers, and I do mine.
  • I am starting off the month by visiting the dentist. Oh boy I am so excited. It shouldn’t be a big deal because it is just a cleaning but I want to get my money’s worth so I will be eating Oreos and Cheetos shortly before my appointment.
  • Speaking of dentists, I love it when they are working on your choppers and then they ask you a question. I personally find it rather difficult to enunciate when they have their fingers jammed down my mouth.
  • Anyone else disturbed by how fast bird flu is spreading?
  • Mrs. Shife and I finally saw “Brokeback Mountain” this past weekend. A lot of buzz created from the gay cowboys but I was never really truly inspired to see the film. I don’t know if I am too liberal or if I watched too much “Six Feet Under” but seeing two men in love doesn’t make me squirm nor do I view it as groundbreaking. I think Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal did great jobs but the story was not that interesting in my opinion. I feel if you made that same story about a man and women in a forbidden romance it would have sucked. Just my two cents.

Have a lovely day, and please remember that you should not run with scissors.

31 comments:

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

I refuse to see "Brokeback," but not due to homophobia. I just hate romance movies, straight or not. You won't see me watching "The Notebook" anymore than you'll catch me with Heath & Jake. I think love films are lame, really.

nicole said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nicole said...

You know you are FORBIDDEN to be unimpressed by Brokeback Mountain right? You must think it's "brilliant," you must think it's "moving." Think anything less and the Academy of Arts and Sciences will hunt you down.

And I admit that read your "Third String Underwear" quite the wrong way. As in string bikinis.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

Mr. Shife, your progressive attitude towards domesticity is refreshing. Seriously, though, when you're glad to find that leopard-print banana hammock in the back of the drawer 'cuz it means you don't have to go commando, it's time to break out the All Temperature Cheer.

coloradohurricane said...

I am on my 4th string JV undies- the really tight briefs which choke my nads.

Phats said...

Good luck at the dentist. I hate when they give you that crap at the end tell you to wishy wash it around but not swallow. And I think the whole time I want to swallow this, but then will it kill me?

Nice to see you do your own laundry, I am sure your wife enjoys not having too

Cupcake said...

Hey I'm with ya on the laundry thing. My ex and I never did each others laundry in 8 years! Hmm... maybe that's why we're not together anymore....

I will be in the dentist chair first thing Thursday morning! I looove getting my teeth cleaned! (seriously!) but I hate it when the hygeneist blabs on and on about her personal life. Do I care about her dating habits? I see her twice a year! Who cares!!

Pollyanna said...

Just went to the dentist, and the turd tried to convince me to get fitted for a night guard to prevent teeth grinding, (for which I am notorious). It wasn't until I went to check out that the assistant told me it would be $400!

Stupid dentists. Careful. They're sneaky.

Denise said...

I would love it if my husband were able to do his own laundry....BUT he would break the machines!

As a former surgical assistant to an oral surgeon, I can tell you that it's no fun working on a dirty mouth. Ew. BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!! ;)

I was a HUUUUUGE SFU fan which pretty much numbed me to any "abnormalities" in the world. I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain yet. I'll wait for the DVD, but really...two men in love...what's the big deal? At least they got two nice looking men to play the parts.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I did a bunch of laundry yesterday and I am back to my starting underwear. It is waaaaaaaaay better then my - lets call them my "Vinny Testaverde" underpants.

madame P said...

u cool mrshife !!!!

1) you do your own laudry... very impressive...

2)eat those oreos !!! stuff'em 3 at a time !!!

3)i too was not impressed with BBM... like i said earlier.. "bridges of madison county" for gay men.. wouldn't you agree ??

White Dade said...

Any man who can't cook his own food or do his own laundry is lazy and rediculous.

I owuld venture that the number of Men in Idaho who saw Brokeback and didn't cringe, like oyu, is smaller than the number who stood outside and protested it.


They screen tested that movie originally about a man and a woman and it bombed, so theyt went back and re-shot it with two dudes. next thign you know: OSCAR!

the_mrs said...

Please, I am begging you: come have a talk with my husband about laundry. He seems to expect me to know when he has run out of clean underwear. Just because I am a housewife does NOT MAKE IT MY RESPONSIBILITY!!!!

Oh, sorry about that....;)

Luke said...

I think its great that you do your own laundry. Yay for being an adult.

none - ya said...

I've totally got the third string off the bench and those bitches are running with scissors and talking to the dentist whilst he is cleain my teeth. This shit is out of control yo!

mrs_s said...

Wow, that is pretty impressive about the laundry. So, when you guys have kids, who is doing their laundry, because let me tell you, laundry after kids is a whole new ball game!

sc said...

my third string boxers are just that -- a string. I think they need to be retired but for some reason i find it difficult to throw away underwear.

Shoe Diva said...

My fiance and I do our own seperate laundry as well -- I tend not to use the dryer for my good clothes and hes scared he will shrink something.

Have fun at the dentist

Dirk the Feeble said...

I wasn't thinking "Why doesn't your wife do your laundry?" I was thinking "He must not have had time to do his laundry because he's probably doing his wife's."

I guess things work differently at my house compared to the rest of the world.

mona said...

I just finished with the dentist- thank god, and I was thinking the exact same thing- why the hell is she asking me a question when she KNOWs I can't answer-so I bit her finger :)

leo myshkin said...

yup, i have to do my own laundry. open lid, dump in soap, dump in clothes, turn on machine, close lid and go watch tv for an hour. piece of cake.

as for the gay cowboys, i don't watch movies without space ships or slim pickens.

SugarHigh said...

i too am on my third string undies and started a load of wash before heading out the door for work this morning. I'm glad to hear that A) I'm not the only one, and B) that you and Mrs Shife do your own laundry. Mr. Sugar and I go by those standards too. Granite, we will fold each others laundry on occassion but only to get it out of the way for ours. LOL!

Lordofsnag said...

I get my flat mates girlfriend to do all my laundry even the SPECIAL socks.....yuk...yuk

The Phoenix said...

I was having two widom teeth cut out and the guy starting asking me about the NCAA championships.

The guy has two rubber gloves in my mouth covered in my blood, and I really want to try to talk about basketball???

WTF?

I just used up my last varsity underwear.

LBseahag said...

congrats on seeing broke back...

and kudos for Mrs Shife for not doing your laundry...girl power!

angel, jr. said...

I had to run with hedge clippers today. Is that bad?

DaMasta said...

I'm so ashamed that I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about when you said "third-string undies". Wow.

But then again, I have "weekend" underwear. My weekend underwear are cotton and comfortable and have fun prints and are pink. They go under jeans.

missy said...

I don't mind doing the laundry as long as i don't have to vacuum!

Scottish Toodler said...

LMAO third string underwear!!! YES I definitely know what you are talking about!!!

Deshaun said...

Holy shit... i'm back dude!!!!

Damn, how you been man!?

And i'm still alive!

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