Monday, February 20, 2006

A Presidential Day

More news and notes from the mind of Mr. Shife on this glorious President's Day.

  • If you haven't watched the last episode of "Grey's Anatomy" then stop reading this.
    OK, for everyone else who watched it, how cool was it to see George and Meredith finally hook up? Unfortunately George is going to get his heart broken because Meredith just needed to feed the beast as Lizzie would say.
  • Old people are good for a lot of things. Driving too slow in the fast lane, eating dinner at 3 in the afternoon, sending you ugly sweaters for Christmas, telling us how they had to walk uphill twice to go to school, etc. But they are not good at wearing spandex and belly shirts. I went to the gym early today since I had the day off, and one of the Golden Girls was on the treadmill showing off her midriff.
    Breakfast always tastes better coming up.
    Her partner, Skeletor, was hitting the weights in his spandex. Sweet.
    Breakfast always tastes better coming up again.
    SuperSpyGal I think this couple might be related to the old horndogs that live next to you.
  • Fox News is ridiculous. Their journalistic standards are about as impressive as the National Enquirer. Fox would rather generate hype and hysteria than actually present facts. Fair and balanced my ass.
  • A special fuck you to the two asshats that took up two parking spots so their beloved Corvettes would not be touched. I am so happy that you have a pretty, shiny car but I don't think you will be enjoying it too much since I wished explosive diarrhea on you. A nice car doesn't replace the fact that you have no class, penis or common courtesy.
  • If you ever need a morale boost just watch a marathon of "Cops." There are some really nice people out there. You would swear half of these people were hockey players because of all of their missing chiclets.
  • I am absolutely convinced that Quizno's Classic Italian is the best sub ever.
  • Another DVD recommendation, "Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit."

Have a great President's Day.

24 comments:

Lordofsnag said...

Presidents day i dont think we have those over here in blighty, but i can smoke a cigar and get some head..yuk..yuk

Rocky (Racquel) said...

So glad you're back, Mr. S. I was starting to feel mild withdrawal symptoms...

*note to self - keep going to gym at night - morning sounds intolerable to digestive system*

nicole said...

I had to skip the first entry since I still haven't watched last night's episode yet. Good going, Nicole.

And "Skeletor" had me laughing entirely too hard which isn't good since laughing makes me cough lately...

lilly said...

I cant believe that they hooked up... George is gonna get his little heart ripped out!

White Dade said...

Fox not fair and balanced? Next thing you'll tell me pro wrestling is fixed!

Try parking right next to the people in the 'vettes in the little half spot they leave. If you have small car that is already scratched this is about the most entertaining thing you can do with it.

And you do realize the whole George-Meredith hookup was a whole daddy-issue thing, right? I love the show but their allusions Just a little bit transparent.

mona said...

Wonderful point about Dick-Bush ...

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Hm. But the real Golden Girls dressed conservatively. All except that ol' Blanche. (I still watch repeates of it on Lifetime and I'm not ashamed).

I HATE when people take up two parking spots! Or even park idiotly crooked. I usually leave a note or napkin on their windshield simply saying "learn to park." But since I'm a scared little mouse who doesn't like confrontation, I always run away real quick after I leave it so they don't catch me leaving it.

The stupid ass dvd you recommended I had to sit in the movie theatre to watch with the kids I nanny. It was horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And also Sold Out because it was a no-school day and I had to endure it with every kid in the county!! :(

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

You're so wrong about Fox.

They are completely genuine in everything they do.

And I'm a liar.

Pollyanna said...

Explosive diarrhea...nice mental picture with that one.

And deep down, I think George must have known that Meredith was just in it for the nookie.

SuperSpyGal said...

You just saw the mid-riff...I saw THE WHOLE KIT AND CABOODLE !!!
Thanks for conjuring up that memory again...

:(

;)

Steph said...

I'm a huge fan of this writing in point style caper you have going on. Keep it up. Who needs paragraphs etc?

Design Goddess said...

Grey's Anatomy was good. I think meredith isn't good enough for George. I think it's going to just get blown out of proportion and be just a mess.

I loved the He-Man reference. Those were fun times....fun times indeed.

And Springer is also a good pick-me-up when you're feeling like the gum on the bottom of someone's shoe.

Have you ever tried their turkey sub with guacamole on it?! Yummy!!

The Future said...

I'm with you on the assholes who take up 2 spots, oops did I accidently trip and key your vehicle

coloradohurricane said...

Quizno's is gotta be better than that other place.

Yeah let me spell it out: Subway Sux

meghansdiscontent said...

Oh no!
I was so against Mer and George hooking up.
She needs to be back with McDreamy.
Darn it, Shifey, and we were so in sync with everything else.

And Rocky (racquel) - you're not safe at night either. I had my own Golden Girl and Skeletor at the gym the other night. SCAR EEEEE.

T. Leach said...

Dude, where's Max. He hit that Powerball jackpot?

none - ya said...

Damnit I can't read this. Ugh.

Luke said...

God, I need to try that sub!

the_mrs said...

Wallace and Gromit was great! We laughed harder than our kids did :D

And since when did old people start wearing spandex? I am praying this trend does not hit my state anytime soon....all of the elderly here are still barely breathing/moving/driving.

dashababy said...

Ha! Just started watching Greys Anatomy. My dad loves this show so I had to watch it and see what all the fuss is about. Day-am, everybodys' gettin' it on or talkin' about gettin' it on, feedin' the beast yada yada yada. No wonder he likes it, I told him. He just laughed and said "No, just that one show and maybe the one before but mostly it's about medicine and stuff." I said, "Yeah right dad."
Too funny. I'm hooked.

Zack said...

I'm glad the George finally found his balls and used them. He's been after Meredith for so long it was sad.

I don't see what is so bad with pig-parking aslong as you are far out in the parking lot. I've seen what morons do in parking lots and I get afraid for my car. At the same time I get pissed off when some guy's midlife crisis is parked across three spots right infront of the store.

mrshife said...

LOS -- That would be very presidential of you.

Rocky -- Gym in the morning was not pretty. And Eight Below is about dogs.

Nicole -- Did you watch it yet? Sorry to make you laugh but I laugh calling old dudes Skeletor.

Lilly -- It looks that way.

White Dade -- In honor of President's Day, I will not lie to you. Yes, I realize she just needed someone and George was ready, willing and able.

Mona -- It is sad but true isn't it.

Laurie -- You need to watch Wallace & Gromit again. It really is funny and it will wash away that previous experience.

Rev -- Are your pants on fire?

Pollyanna -- I hope so. I like George.

SSG -- You are welcome.

Steph -- Would Mumzilla approve? I just throw proper writing styles out the window on this blog.

DG -- I have had nothing but Italian sandwiches at that place. I love them so I don't even want to try anything else.

Future -- Oops I did it again.

CH -- Subway. Who would ever work at a dump like that?

MD -- I just wanted George to get some. I am living vicariously through fictional TV characters. It keeps me going.

T. -- Something weird is going on with that kid.

Mack -- Get hooked on phonics.

Luke -- Do it in honor of the Winter Olympics.

The_Mrs. -- I just love those cartoons that put in jokes for the adults too.

DB -- We just started watching it right before the Super Bowl and just love it.

Zack -- Good point. I just hate it when they do it in spots right in front of the building. I don't care if they do out in the middle of BFE but not right in front.

LBseahag said...

you are fricking hilarious...i am speechless....

Scottish Toodler said...

Corvette's are nice cars? I just assume the owner is pinky sized. I can't stomach that COPS show, it looks like the same gene pool that Jerry Springer contestents come from!