Let's Play A Game

Can you guess why Mr. Shife is grouchy?

Is it beacuse ...

A) North Carolina lost to Duke. Damn you J.J. Redick
B) My alma mater, the University of Idaho, lost its head football coach to the NFL. Damn you St. Louis Rams.
C) I have been busier than a one-armed bus driver with crabs at work. Damn you little crustaceans in my tight polyester pants.
D) There were no, I repeat no, Ted Ferguson Bud Light Daredevil commercials during the Super Bowl. Damn you Budweiser ad people.
E) I got fisted by a Hungarian drag queen at the roller disco. Damn you tight polyester pants.
F) All the above except E. Damn you multiple choices.
G) Those are fine reasons Mr. Shife, but I think the real reason you are grouchy is because ___ (this is where you fill in the blank). Damn you Mr. Shife and your silly little game.

Have a lovely day.


  1. are you familiar with boise st. university matt?

    if so, please explain why their football field is blue. i mean its like the friggin smurf bowl.

    that's just wrong!

  2. Jamwall -- BSU is our bitter rival, and we affectionaly refer to it as the Smurf turf. They did it to be different and it worked because everyone that follows college football has heard of the blue turf. I hate those bastards.

  3. Ypu have hasselhoff envy

  4. The Hoff waxed his backhair!

  5. Oh i love the smurfs!

    I will guess F, although I should guess C because they teach you the answer is always C, but I'll stick with F!

    Boise State, man someone was high when they designed their field and gym! BTW Purdue hired a coach from idaho as well, to coach the wide receivers. So you can now be a Boiler ;)

  6. lmao Grouchy Smurf ----

    You and Hoff should go to Disney World and I'm sure you will be happier after some quality time with the Hoff

  7. The reason you're really grouchy is because Mrs. Shife cut you off??

    Had to try.
    Poor Shife, grouchiness . . .
    Hope it gets better, luv.

  8. I think you're grouchy because:

    The Hoff and his wife separated weeks ago and he still hasn't called you !!

  9. ...because it's only Wednesday and it SHOULD BE Friday of NEXT WEEK by now?

  10. Anonymous2/08/2006

    why did the Heels not stay tight on f'ing jj all he looks to do is shoot the three force him to drive damnit...o well the Heels will get them at duke... From the coolest poster mr.shif knows... Go Heels

  11. CH -- I guess it is better than having Hasselhoff penis envy.

    Angel -- That is blasphemous. The Hoff does not have back hair.

    Phats -- His name is Joel Thomas. He is a good dude.

    Darius -- I don't know how Mrs. Shife would feel about that. We already have one midget in the bed. The fat basset.

    Princess -- That is great advice.

    MD -- Mrs. Shife cut me off? Never. I am just too sexy.

    Vince -- That guy drives me nuts. I hate the Dukies.

    SSG -- That is a valid reason for my grouchiness but sadly it is not the culprit.

    Sarah -- I smurfed all over myself this morning but I am still grouchy.

    Andraste -- Oh that would be awesome because that is a 3-day weekend for me.

    Anon -- I don't know about the coolest, but you are pretty cool.

  12. I go with F...no wait, A.....no, C.....oh maybe G....no, definitely F....no...oh I give up! now I'M grouchy!

  13. because you're still recovering from all the alcohol you drank on Sunday???

    (HA! I had not heard C before or the others for that matter but C is funny. I've heard other busy comparisons but not this one.)

    Damn, it's hard to concentrate with Will Farrell bangin' on that cowbell!

  14. because......

    you woke up with a scorching case of jock itch and in your drowsy state of mind you applied Icy Hot to your genitals rather than Tinactin.

  15. E - totally E. And you liked it.

  16. ...accidentily ate your own polyester pants?

  17. hmmm...i am still stumped on the crabs...

    the crabs are on your stump...

    wow...this is fun...

  18. You're grouchy becasue you live in Boise. And its February.

  19. You're grumpy because I still outdo you for being the grumpiest.

  20. Ha I love Smurfs! You are grouchy because you want another drink and your liver has checked out for the rest of the month...(I'll have one for ya ;)

  21. Because you wanted it to be The Hoff that was fisting you??

  22. "The Hungarian drag queen did not give Mr Shife his/her phone number."

  23. You are too sexy, Shifey, what the hell was I thinking?????

  24. F and G
    G because you didn't get laid damn that wife of your's

  25. Gee, I hope YOU figure out what it is because it's been afflicting me too. Every other thing has been pissing me off lately and that's totally unlike me.

  26. You got fisted by JJ Reddick? Wait. That wasn't his fist ... Awkward.

  27. i think you're grouchy cuz we can't make out for real.

  28. ... because I come 33rd in your comment list!

  29. you're grouchy b/c Mrs. Shife found out that the Fat Basset is really your best friend and she's ready to kick the crap out of you?

    If not that, then I choose E as well.


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