Please note I had to re-shoot these photos with our digital camera so the quality isn't the best.
To borrow a line from one of the greatest television shows ever, "Arrested Development," I just blue myself.
This is a fairly recent photo. Me and Mrs. Shife dressed up for a Halloween party in 2004. I was Fat Elvis and she was a vampire.
This photo was taken during our first year together. I believe we were at a bar hanging out with some friends. Aren't we cute? Actually Mrs. Shife makes me look good because she is beautiful.
Now this picture is quite significant. This was taken the night I met Mrs. Shife, and I wrote about the meeting a little bit ago if you want to read it. The quick and dirty version is that I was dressed up for a polyester wedding, was wearing some make-up and was very inebriated.
And finally this last picture might explain quite a bit about me. The stuff on my face is paint. Yes, the stuff you use to paint houses. Me and a buddy got extremely hammered and decided to have a paint party. Most of the paint ended up on us and I am pretty sure I ate quite a bit of it as well. And the last time I checked paint is not part of your recommended diet.
Have a nice day.
I bet all that ingested paint made for an interesting turd.
ReplyDeleteI could be wrong, and I know they keep on changing it, but I don't think paint is one of the 4 food groups.
ReplyDeleteyou make a rad 5th village person....
ReplyDeleteYou ATE the paint, huh? That explains so much.
ReplyDeleteWhy is your face "drippings wit goo" in that first photo? (I'm sorry, I love that line from "Ghostbusters II" and use it every chance I get.)
ReplyDeleteYour wife is hawt. If you don't mind my saying.
ReplyDeleteYou done good son.
Love the fotos.
Awww more pix! Sweet - you guys are adorable :) I got some stuff that needs painting - I hear you are good at it. ha
ReplyDeleteSo hilarious! Great post to read first thing!
ReplyDeleteCould painting yourself with whiteface be racially offensive?
ReplyDeleteI like your face better when it's unobstructed.
ReplyDeleteAnd your wife is DROP DEAD gorgeous. LUCKY man.
Those are great lol love the blue face.
ReplyDeleteI think its so cute the way you talk about Mrs. Shife -- shes so lucky to have you.
your kids are going to adorable when you have them
I got inebriated and ate some make-up one time, but I never got to marry a beautiful girl like Mrs Shife--who is by the way beautiful (or are we allowed to say HOT!).
ReplyDeleteyou probably ate crayons as a child too, didn't you?! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat pics! Love the "blue", man!
you and Mrs. Shife make a cute couple!!
ReplyDeleteI love your pictures!!
Rev -- It was kinda chippy.
ReplyDeleteCH -- You are never wrong.
LB -- You know it.
Ann -- It does explain a lot, but I still don't have a good explanation for the third nipple.
Nicole -- I am glad I could help.
Laurie -- Yes, I definitely married up. She is a hottie.
Tina -- I will send you an estimate.
Missy -- Yes, I am better than coffee.
Vince -- Yes, but don't tell anyone.
MD -- I am indeed a lucky man.
Princess -- No I am lucky to have her. Kids? I don't know if we are there yet but someday.
Angel -- Yeah, you can say hot. Make-up is a start. You should be ready for paint in about 6 months.
DG -- As a matter of fact I did. And I knew you would love the Blue Man joke.
Nutty -- Thank you very much.
Believe me, there are some photos from my past that I highly doubt I would post online. Too embarrassing.Let's just say drugs were involved and we'll leave it at that. Thank god for sobriety.
ReplyDeleteDamn, you do have a hot wife. Good for you, but no cuddling.
ReplyDeleteAweome pics, looks like the rest of us have to get it together and post some of our pasts too...
ReplyDeleteI would love to see more, keep them coming!
Oh and by the way, everyone here is right, the Mrs. is beautiful. I see no one gave you credit, you're not so bad yourself.
I couldn't help but notice the painted teeth. Nice touch.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is very beautiful, way to go Matt! Score! Musta been the leather vest and sleeveless paisley shirt that hooked her.
Lucky for all of your readers, your face is partially obscured in each one of these photographs. Like Chuck Norris, no one can handle all of Shifey in one dose.
ReplyDeleteMrsShife is indeed beautiful. Great pics. This whole paint eating thing explains a lot. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, do you wear normal clothes ever????
ReplyDeleteLooks like fun...except for the eating house paint.
Ahhhhhh ...the paint lead poisoning explains ALOT now !!!
ReplyDeleteNice pics !...you and Mrs S. make a great looking couple !!
How 'bout some baby pictures next time. But reeally really bad ones, like you crapping your pants or shoving your face in a cake. I think we would all enjoy that immensely.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is a babe and you are just as cute. Thanks for sharing Shifey.
ReplyDeleteI love these pix!They are so awesome!!! Mrs Shife is a total babe! You are both so cute and I agree with PPP that you are going to have the cutest kids!! You are so funny! I bet you are a blast to party with!!!
ReplyDeleteMrs. Shife is gorgeous, and you gotta give a girl credit to see a nice man behind the paint-eating "I kind of look like a gay biker in a pleather vest" frat boy she met at a party.
ReplyDeleteHow lucky you are to have found her, and how lucky she is to be so loved by you!!
I bet you were a hoot when you were younger... were... ;) Just kidding.
ReplyDelete