An Awesome Title Goes Here

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I only have one more day of randomness and then I unveil my new Friday feature. I have no idea why I am playing it up because it is not that exciting. Enjoy these brain turds.

  • Is 10 days enough time in New Zealand? We are planning a vacation in November and debating if that is enough time. It takes about 17 hours to fly there so that is nearly 2 days for traveling which leaves you 8 days to go on adventures.
  • I am a military brat and I spent 3 years in the Navy so I have always kept my hair short. Well I have decided to go hippie. I am going for the "My Name Is Earl" look.
    Minus the mustache.
  • Idea for Hallmark: Congratulations you are gay cards. Are there cards out there to wish someone well if they come out of the closet? Just asking.
  • Can you feel it? March Madness is just around the corner. Yes!!!!
  • What is the polite way to tell someone that the sound of their voice makes you want to punch babies?
  • Is it Friday yet?
  • I just got Volume 4 of "The X-Files" mythology series so I might be spending some quality time with Mulder and Scully for the next few weeks.
  • Mr. Shife's word of the day is crestfallen. Why? Why not.
  • Is this a sign of aging or have I broken my bladder? Between doing the Dew, I try to drink about 60-70 ounces of water while I am at work, and subsequently I have to pee about 47 times a day. OK. I might be exaggerating, but it is probably at least 4 times.

Have a wonderful day, and please take your seat and fasten your seat belt. And also make sure your seat back and folding trays are in their full upright position.


  1. Rocky -- She isn't convinced about the hair yet. She thinks I am going to have a full-blown mullet.

  2. OK that is weird. My answer to Rocky's comment appeared before her comment. Dude I am like psychic.

  3. Ok, I KNEW I liked you Shifey...I'm a Navy vet too! :-)

    Plus, I absolutely adore Earl. Mrs. Shife really has a lot going for her. hehe

  4. You KNOW I can commiserate when it comes to janky bladder issues. Two swallows of water have me high-tailing it to the ladies room within 10 minutes time. The only way I can increase my intake is if they install a latrine in my cube.

  5. I love the line about wanting to punch babies. I'm gonna use it. Badly, but use it none the less. :P

  6. Crestfallen is an awesome word, one that I've fallen out of using. It's odd how much it applies to my way of thinking, wouldn't you say?

  7. Sorry Mr. Shife, but I will be crestfallen if you grow Earl hair. You are a grown man...not a Chia Pet. :P

    Don't do the Dew anymore! Bad stuff that Dew. Full of sugar and caffeine. It will rot your teeth out...well I guess THEN you will fit the Earl hairdo. AND it looks like horse piss. I tend to avoid drinks that look like urine.

  8. Why don't you try a mullet?

  9. Nicole -- Sorry about that, I forgot. I didn't mean to bring up such a sensitive topic.

    Steph -- Spread the love.

    Rev -- Yes, if anyone should be using that word it is definitely you.

    ME -- Oh come on, you know you want me to look like Earl. Maybe I should grow my hair to look like the wig I am wearing in my picture. Elvis hair would be awesome. Speaking of pictures I like your new kitty.

  10. Angel -- Trust me if I grow it out it is going to have a lot of mullet qualities.

  11. I say go for the stache!

  12. NO.
    10 Days is not enough in New Zealand!!!

    Ummm . . thank God you're not doing the mustache.

  13. I like the mullet idea Angel

  14. When I got out of the corps and tried to grow my hair out the results were not pretty. I tihnkthey give you something in military food that makes your hair look absolutely horrible long. That way, you have to keep it short, even once you're out, and then you figure, "Ah, my hair's short already, may as well re-enlist."

  15. uuuuuhhh.. you'd look cute with that hairdo...

    I APPROVE !!!

  16. Earl is HOT.

    I'm not such a fan of mullets, but if Earl grew one, I'd prolly jump ship.

    Go for the gold, Shife!

  17. Only 4 times a day? Because really do pee about 47 times although a lot of those are just skiving more than actual peeing.

  18. Anonymous2/23/2006

    The Madness is so close, I don't know if I can't stand it any longer. You got a tentative bracket yet?

  19. It's too bad you're a Carolina fan. Too damned bad.

    /Go Duke!

  20. I totally wanna be you...

    live in Napoleon-Dynamiteville, blog at work all day, go on cool vacations to Mexico and New Zealand, and have a hottie for a spouse...

    Is there a self-help video or website I don't know about?

  21. mrshife
    The mullet look is always in, of course I do live in a backwoods
    redneck kind of state.

    Go march maddness!

  22. DG -- I am just sticking with the goatee for now.

    MD -- That is what we are thinking as well.

    Nutty -- Unless The Hoff grows a mullet, this kid is not getting one.

    White Dade -- I think you are right. My hair is starting to get a little freaky as it is getting longer.

    Madame -- Thank you. I sure hope it works out.

    Pollyanna -- Way to work the Olympics into your comment. You get the gold.

    Fuckkit -- I think I just like of the smell of public restrooms.

    Vince -- Very tentative. I am just trying to get over my hate for Duke and put them in the Final Four.

    Mack -- Those are fighting words, you Dukie lover.

    LB -- It is not as glamorous as I make it out to be. Work is starting to actually feel like work but Mrs. Shife still is hot.

  23. Twisted -- Like I said before, the only way the mullet will be in for me is if The Hoff grows one himself.

  24. Lots to say:

    1. I would try to extend your trip longer. Because vacations always go by so much faster than we like.

    2. The "My Name is Earl" look is hot (and not just because my husband's name is indeed 'Earl')

    3. The polite way to tell someone that their voice makes you want to punch babies is "I don't mean to be rude, but your voice makes me want to punch babies."

    And finally 4. Just think: with all of the peeing you are doing, you are that much farther away from a bladder infection. Peeing is good for you. Or so I've heard.

  25. When you're finished with the Dew, keep the bottle under your desk and give back from where it came !

  26. I'm anticipating the new Friday feature as it promises to be the highlight of my week (not really but I'm trying to be encouraging).

  27. I can't wait til March Madness!! It's already started around here with our girls team in the Final Four. I love all the college conference tournaments.

  28. Don't go for a full mullet. That would be scary. As for peeing, I always seem to have to pee more when a drink water, than when I just drink Pepsi.

  29. In response to your baby-puncher query, I think you've broached the subject about as politely as possible.

  30. 10 days is not long enough! I've never been there before and want to (and will be secretly hating you while you're there-j/k), but 10 days is not enough. I say go for a month and come back on ly if they don't have computer access. LOL!
    I can't wait to see the long hair. If pulled off right, long hair is superhot. Just don't go fabio on us.
    Tell Scully and Mulder I said hi. It's been a while since my last X-file marathon. what an excellent idea!
    my seatbelt is tightened but I'm rebelling against the upright position, so bring it!

  31. LOL OUT OF THE CLOSET CARDS!! I try to make sure that between blogfrogging, going to the bathroom, and just surfing the net I have little time for the "work" I am supposed to be doing at most jobs, which usually amounts to sucking someone's --um-- ego...


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