Thursday, February 02, 2006

At the movies with the Dumb, White Guy

It is like there is a ginormous sporting event this weekend or something because there are only two films being released nationally. So my advice to you is to see if the Oscar-nominated films are worth a shit or just get shitty for the Super Bowl.

“Something New”
It’s a rom com. Yes, that’s right, I can throw industry terms around since I review movies just based on the trailers. A romantic comedy with a twist as a black woman gets involved with a white man. Once you go white you turn into soccer mom or something like that. So I guess that is the twist, a black woman dates a white man and they must deal with family, friends and society. Or maybe the twist is that Oprah is really a big fat white dude. Stranger things have happened.

I think I would join Oprah’s book club before I saw this movie.

“When a Stranger Calls”
Did I mention that the Super Bowl was this weekend? This is a remake of a 1979 horror flick and some things are better left alone. First, this film was not made available for a review, which I believe is not a good sign. And secondly, I am pretty sure I saw this whole movie during the preview, which I also believe is not a good sign. The reason the original was so scary was because of where the stranger was calling from, and this version gives it away in the trailer.

I think I would rather eat Oprah’s book of the month.

Have a great weekend.

P.S. If the reviews don’t inspire you, we can talk about the Super Bowl instead.
Are you doing anything exciting? Am I wearing underwear? Are you more interested in the game or the commercials? Will I have a hangover Monday? Who is going to win? Who is sexier, Mike Holmgren or Bill Cowhler?

29 comments:

none - ya said...

I've totally live the "If a Stranger Calls", so I probably won't be seeing that. Used to babysit for these insanely rich people that lived on the water. Their entire house was made of windows. I had more than one creepy scary ass occurance happen there. People getting out of their boats and coming up to the window and starring at me. They are lucky I didn't bust a cap yo.

Lina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
nicole said...

I think "When A Stranger Calls" was also a remake of a 1996 film. And that movie was "Scream."

Lordy, Hollywood's KILLING me with its originality these days.

angel, jr. said...

I am going to be watching the "Beauty and the Geek" marathon. If that doesn't pan out, I'm going to start practicing for "Skating with the Stars".

meghansdiscontent said...

I choose SUPERBOWL!

1 - Party with friends, my place.

2 - No underwear. It would spoil my image of you as a manly "I need no support" guy.

3 - Game!

4 - Yes.

5 - Steelers - The Bus has too much motivation to let our boys lose.

6 - Cowher ONLY because I can't stand Seattle. Poor Cowher, he was hit a time or two with the ugly stick. But I admire that man and would probably jump him on strategy and leadership alone.

Steph said...

Do you know they even show the Superbowl in Australia? We have this cheesy ex-Amercian entertainer called Don Lane who hosts the show, and none of us have any frickin idea what's going on.

Seems to be a whole lot of stop/starting and lots of padding and butt slapping.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

Underwear? You're so conservative. haha

Phats said...

GO STEELERS! they beat the colts so I am going with the old logic of root for the team that beats you to make you look better.

Jay said...

OH man. This calls for some pot.

missy said...

I save all the crappy films for my dvd rentals because no matter how crappy it sounds, I'm drawn to them. It makes me appreciate all the really good films or the things that I do instead of watching bad, bad films.

I wonder if those people involved in bad films cringe when their name is put on the credits or as they self-involved as the movie stars?

coloradohurricane said...

i think steelers win this year.

terry bradshaw had hair the last time the steelers went all the way

Denise said...

I thought Hollywood's entire purpose was to ENTERTAIN us...NOT bore us silly.

Design Goddess said...

Hollywood makes BAD movies??? Is this "something new?"

Father of 3 said...

Shife...I had the same exact thoughts about "When A Stranger Calls"..they gave away the ending in the TRAILER!! (My kids want to rent the original (whickh was very scary)... they have nightmares from The Wizard of Oz, Edward Scissorhands and the Munsters...think they're ready for the original?)

The Scarlett said...

I hate the Super Bowl but love the commercials. I'll admit I don't even know who is playing but I can tell you who is nominated for Oscars in every acting category this year.

Luke said...

I am hosting a party this weekend. I thought you were bringing the dip?

SugarHigh said...

Steelers all the way baby! Screw those crap ass movies. We've ben invited to a Superbowl gathering but i have half a mind to stay home in my undies, make martinis and scratch my butt.
Although I will be routing for Steelers, i prefer the commercials. they better rock me this year.

The Reverend Jon Boles said...

Between shitty Hollywood flicks, the Super Bowl, and the Oscars, I don't know which front of mediocrity's attack will do the most damage.

Scottish Toodler said...

I LOVE this new feature of Dumb White Guy!!! Your movie reviews rock!!! I am going to watch the Superbowl. It is the only football game I watch all year. Mostly just to know what everyone is talking about.

mrshife said...

Mack -- You are still suffering from Post Babysitting Stress Disorder. You do not need to see that movie.

Nicole -- It blows. I love movies but there is nothing that is compelling me to go sit my ass in a theatre.

Angel -- Good luck.

MD -- Have a good time. I know you will.

Steph -- Well I know there will be one person interested in watching the Super Bowl in Australia, CS.

Rocky -- But I wear liberal socks.

Phats -- You and your logic.

Miss Jay -- Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

NM -- I think they must.

CH -- Terry had hair?

ME -- I think they forgot their mission. By the way, my wife loves your little avatars or pictures that you do.

DG -- No this isn't new. Just the ratio of good and crap is even more out of whack right now.

FO3 -- I think they can handle the original.

Scarlett -- Oscars are probably going to be more entertaining.

Luke -- Save me a seat.

Sugar -- They had better or I am sending the commercial people my soiled underwear.

Rev -- Hollywood is my guess.

mrshife said...

ST -- I would like this new feature better if some good movies would come along. It has been a lot of crap lately.

Design Goddess said...

Mr. Shife, I just posted something on my blog that I think you're gonna love. It's amazing where inspiration for a post comes from, eh?

Rocky (Racquel) said...

hope you have a good weekend too! The sharks started out b/c I'm a lawyer so I got all the lawyer jokes that came with it. Then I started looking into sharks and found them to be fascinating - plus, I don't have a t-shirt as cool as yours to use as my picture *grin*

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

Don't know who either of those dudes are. Should I duck now?

Blonde said...

I remember When A Stranger Calls from when we were kids. Because of it, I never babysat EVER. It was scary then, but I don't think I would go see the remake.

My money is on the Steelers.

I guarantee the commercials will be better then the game.

I would go lesbo before ever being naked with Cowher or Holmgren.

Denise said...

You won the caption contest! :)

LBseahag said...

This is a weekend to sit home and watch One Night in Paris...

yellowdog granny said...

congradulations on the title contest at denise's...it made me think of asshole number 2(second husband) when he was in viet nam..he said the "ladies"..all had the same little chant when gi's would come by...i love you too much, no bullshit gi...
first time i have been here...i like it..

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