Thursday, January 05, 2006

Turn Out The Lights, The Party's Over


I got Christmas spirit yes I do, I got Christmas spirit how about you.
OK, it is January 5 all across this great nation of ours and I am just wondering when it is officially obnoxious to still have your Christmas lights up on your house. I grew up in a relatively normal household and we had decorations up from Dec. 1 to Jan. 1, and as far as I can tell most people seem to follow this philosophy. But it appears that a rogue group of light whores are holding the nation hostage with their wattage usage.
So what do we do about all these folks who have the desire to leave up their lights?
That is my question to you my fine friends. I have a couple of ideas.
Perhaps the culprits have to shelter wayward rabid woodland creatures in their automobile or play chaperone to a group of 6th-grade girls at a Backstreet Boys concert.
Maybe they need to wear adult diapers on the outside of their pants or punch themselves in the babymaker every time someone says hello to them.
How about they have to be the mop person at a porno shop or they have to be sodomized by the offensive Christmas lights.
Well those are my thoughts and I sure would love to hear your ideas.

30 comments:

coloradohurricane said...

I would say Jan 1st as well.

Isn't it supposed to be bad luck having them up after that ?

The Scarlett said...

While our tree is down, our outdoors lights are still out (they come down this weekend) but we haven't lit them since January 1. I know a lot of people believe in having them on until Epiphany (January 6th) and they leave up their tree until then as well. I guess it depends on what you were brought up with.

I suggest some sort of aversion therapy ... maybe they get tasered each time the lights go on after January 1.

T. Leach said...

How about we fucking kill them?

Design Goddess said...

We've always left our tree and lights up until the Epiphany. However, with the unusually warm weather, my dad and I took theirs down the other day.

As for those who leave theirs on until June, I'd say we should just have them stare into the lights until their retinas fall off!

mrshife said...

CH -- That is what I always thought as well or at least that is what I was brainwashed into believing.

Scarlett -- I have never heard of Epiphany. I need to get out more.

T. Leach -- That works as well.

mrshife said...

DG -- You just slipped in there when I was writing my own comments. I am going to have to investigate this Epiphany thing. I have honestly never heard of it. It is an East Coast thing? I have lived basically in Idaho for the past 26 years and I don't recall hearing about it ever. But I have been drunk for about 24 of those years so that might explain some things.

Vince said...

It's traditional to leave up your lights and other decorations until Epiphany, January 6. Hence, the 12 Days of Christmas.

Of course, ours usually end up staying out until about Spring Break...

Vince said...

Shit, Scarlett stol my thunder. Oh well.

meghansdiscontent said...

The first weekend after New Years is when I think you should take them down. It's a weekend so you have no excuse NOT to do it.

However, I have VERY misguided friends who have been known to be taking down Christmas lights on Valentine's. So sad. But appearantly not as sad as poor Vince.

Andraste said...

I'm with t.leach. Fucking kill 'em. They're wasting my energy and oxygen.

SuperSpyGal said...

I took everything down today, one day short of the Epiphany...I know I'm tempting fate right now, but I've decided to live on the edge this year !!

Anti-Blogger said...

Slightly pull out one of the bulbs so all the strings go out. Then laugh a belly laugh as they get frustrated trying to find the bad bulb until next Christmas.

Nah, not very creative.

mrshife said...

Vince -- I didn't expect to hear from you today. I thought you would still be out celebrating. And I am learning all about this Epiphany deal. Seriously, I need to get out more.

MD -- That is what I always thought as well but evidently there is this Epiphany deal.

Andraste -- I think you and T. need to become hit men.

SSG -- You are a trail blazer.

AB -- Not creative but an excellent idea.

Father of 3 said...

Epiphany. After that, it's non-stop Hasselhoff videos until they remove it all.

nicole said...

Dude, I've seen fools keep their halls decked till July!!!

Unless you're living in a college dorm, keeping up Christmas lights after, say, January 10th is just ridiculous. Especially if you're hell bent on plugging them IN every night.

Now I'm not much of an electrician but I'm thinking if you can rig the plugs to jolt them every time they try to plug them in? They'd never go near a set of lights AGAIN.

Phats said...

I have never heard of Epiphany either? I know people who leave their lights up all year so they don't have reput them up the next christmas. I would say Jan 2nd, because that is when all my stuff went down haha! I say egg their house!

Max said...

Is this, like, a religious thing?

mona said...

I only know about Epiphany because here in France you get cake (Galette des Rois as we say) with a little porcelain doll in it, the person who gets the doll is crowned king or queen..plus the cake is good.

cher said...

i'm with T Leach. I say kill them. keep your eggs for breakfast.

Father of 3 said...

Epiphany or Three Kings Day...January 6 celebrating the day the Wise Men got to Jesus. Just so you all know.

the_mrs said...

I say they should have to endure being 'teepee'd' every day that their lights are still up. Oh, and also sporking....I think that's what it's called. You take a bunch of sporks and stick them all over the lawn, and put paper plates and cups on top of them. There's no point to it---it's just obnoxious.

Oh, and also the old "instant potatoes" in their lawn. Add water and watch the action :)

The Scarlett said...

Oh, I like the idea of cake with a doll in it (although I wouldn't actually eat the cake).

Sideshow said...

Not the mop person at a porno store, but a mop wringer (bare hands only) at a porno store (only those with peep shows).

Luke said...

Maybe they're celebrating the Russian Orthodox Christmas? That's Friday.

cranberry said...

i dunno about that. those folks are crazy. january 1st or 2nd is the longest you should keep lights up for. we don't even put them up until the 2nd weekend in december.

this is cool.....
http://sev.prnewswire.com/real-estate/20050406/LAM08704042005-1.html

She said...

Light off by the 1st, but I figure you can have them up (not on) until the 15th, just for the procrastinators out there. Any who insist upon the lights staying on later, should be forced to watch the Teletubbies. Ad nauseum.

angel, jr. said...

I say chaperone to Backstreet Boys concert. And then they have to host a New Kids on the Block reunion.

LBseahag said...

That's goddamn obnoxious...

and some poor kid out there is doing his homework to a candle in the hood....

missy said...

Funny how much you learn about religion by reading your blog ;-)

I didn't even have any decorations this year! Unless you consider a one foot tinsel I hang on my door knob.

I think i just had an epiphany! I can leave the tinsel the whole year round!

Laurie (aka buggy) said...

I took mine down yesterday. Boo.