Have You Ever Seen Any Of These?

I spent a lot of time in the bathroom Sunday thanks in part to my intake of raw fish and beer on Saturday night. Too much information? Probably, but keep reading. The one good thing about all this time in the bathroom is that I got to read the appropriately titled "Uncle John's Fast-Acting Long-Lasting Bathroom Reader." And I proudly present you the fruit of my labors.
Here are some bumper stickers that you may or may not have seen.

• I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes.
• My other vehicle is in orbit.
• Remember: It's pillage first, then burn.
• Just keep staring -- I may do a trick.
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• Coffee makes it possible to get out bed; chocolate makes it worth it.
• My dog is smarter than your honor student.
• Physically Pfffffft!
• If all else fails, stop using all else.
• Don't drink and derive. Alcohol and Calculus don't mix.
• I'm so old that "getting lucky" means finding my car in the parking lot.
• Buckle up -- it makes it harder for the aliens to snatch you from my car.
• A PBS mind trapped in an MTV world.
• The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
• Dangerously under-medicated.
• If I had a life, I wouldn't need a bumper sticker.

Have a nice day!