At the movies with the Dumb, White Guy

In case you are new to this feature on the Dumb, White Guy channel, it has been established that Hollywood’s agenda for January is to dump as much cinematic garbage into our laps as possible. Actually, not everything was shitty. “Hoodwinked” and “Underworld” were better than advertised, but everything else licked gopher balls.
And as luck would have it, it appears that two of the biggest turds are being released this week. So let’s rejoice in the fact that next week is February and hopefully there are some good flicks in the pipeline.

Annapolis
A young man from the wrong side of the tracks is accepted to the Naval Academy in Annapolis. Gee I wonder how many braniacs worked together to come up with the title of this movie.
I guess the title “A Really Shitty Version of An Officer and A Gentleman” is hard to market to the masses.

I think I would rather jam gerbils up my ass with Richard Gere than see this movie.

Big Momma’s House 2
Remember when Martin Lawrence was funny? Me either.
Lawrence is back undercover as an oversized grandmother and this time around he …. do you really care? It is hard to believe we had to wait more than 5 years for the sequel. Man how did I survive. The only thing funny about this movie is that people will actually pay good money to see it.

I feel a case of Déjà vu coming on. I think I would rather jam gerbils up my ass with Richard Gere than see this movie.

Nanny McPhee
A recently widowed father of seven hires a magical but tough nanny to watch over his unruly kids. Emma Thompson really throws on the make-up in this film. She is looking nasty. You can’t drink that pretty. Not even Jagrmeister will do the job. But enough about my fantasies, this a family comedy. The tagline says “You’ll Learn to Love Her, Warts and All,” but I’m guessing Nanny is not going to get much love at all. Well maybe if she hires an escort, but I think the escort would need a lot of cash or maybe stock options. Seriously she is scary looking.

Oh why not. I think I would rather jam gerbils up my ass with Richard Gere than see this movie.

Have a great weekend.


P.S. My take on "Lost."
I thought the last episode was kind of lame and I had a hard time getting into it. I just I am not fanatical enough to see all of the so-called clues but it didn't seem like much happened. I am mostly pissed because we wait have to wait another 2 weeks for a new episode. So let's see, there was a 5 week break, followed by 3 new episodes, and now another break. Hmmm, I have no idea why people get upset with this show.