At the movies with the Dumb, White Guy

I proudly present what I hope becomes a regular feature on my blog, my take on the crap that Hollywood feeds us every Friday.
We all like movies. We have our all-time favorites and ones that we think just suck ass. We all seem to pretty much enjoy the cinematic experience. So unless you hate movies or the thought of movies gives you a rash on your ass that looks like Count Chocula then you should find this entertaining. So please enjoy the ride, and as always, your comments are welcomed and appreciated.

So it’s January, my fine friends, and that means Hollywood is pumping out some of its finest crap of the year. Usually, the wonderful folks that release movies dump all the garbage that wasn’t fit for the previous year in the first few weeks of the new year. So a good movie these days might be hard to spot, and since the media will be devoting every ounce of their resources to document Bragelina’s pregnancy, I am your only hope.
Without I further ado, I give you the new releases for January 13.

“Glory Road” – This might be one of the most original films ever. A coach tries to rally a team against the odds to win the championship. Whoa. Never seen a film like that before, right? It is based on a true story; I am just not sure if the truth was heavily sedated for parts of the film. This Disney-produced drama is about celebrated college basketball coach Don Haskins, who dared to put in an all-African-American starting lineup in 1966.
This has rental written all over it.

“Tristan + Isolde” – Well, I must admit, when I first saw this preview, the gay man inside me went a little crazy. I told Mrs. Shife that we had to see this movie. What is it about forbidden passion that makes my heart skip a beat? The story of two lovers and their tragic romance is intriguing, but if I can’t even say the name of the character, Isolde, then it might be a problem. I will sit through the whole film focusing on how to say her name, how unusual the name is, and if it would make a good name for a kid. Very troubling.
I could do this as a matinee. Maybe.

“Last Holiday” – Queen Latifah stars as a woman who learns she only has three weeks to live and decides to do all the things she's always wanted to do. Hmmm. I think I saw everything in the previews, and I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that the doctors made a mistake in her diagnosis.
I won’t even watch this when it is on HBO 75 times a month.

“Hoodwinked” – An animated and satirical take on the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood." Been there, done that with the “Shrek” films.
Watch this? Only if there are topless scenes of Jessica Rabbit.