At the movies with the Dumb, White Guy

I proudly present what I hope becomes a regular feature on my blog, my take on the crap that Hollywood feeds us every Friday.
We all like movies. We have our all-time favorites and ones that we think just suck ass. We all seem to pretty much enjoy the cinematic experience. So unless you hate movies or the thought of movies gives you a rash on your ass that looks like Count Chocula then you should find this entertaining. So please enjoy the ride, and as always, your comments are welcomed and appreciated.

So it’s January, my fine friends, and that means Hollywood is pumping out some of its finest crap of the year. Usually, the wonderful folks that release movies dump all the garbage that wasn’t fit for the previous year in the first few weeks of the new year. So a good movie these days might be hard to spot, and since the media will be devoting every ounce of their resources to document Bragelina’s pregnancy, I am your only hope.
Without I further ado, I give you the new releases for January 13.

“Glory Road” – This might be one of the most original films ever. A coach tries to rally a team against the odds to win the championship. Whoa. Never seen a film like that before, right? It is based on a true story; I am just not sure if the truth was heavily sedated for parts of the film. This Disney-produced drama is about celebrated college basketball coach Don Haskins, who dared to put in an all-African-American starting lineup in 1966.
This has rental written all over it.

“Tristan + Isolde” – Well, I must admit, when I first saw this preview, the gay man inside me went a little crazy. I told Mrs. Shife that we had to see this movie. What is it about forbidden passion that makes my heart skip a beat? The story of two lovers and their tragic romance is intriguing, but if I can’t even say the name of the character, Isolde, then it might be a problem. I will sit through the whole film focusing on how to say her name, how unusual the name is, and if it would make a good name for a kid. Very troubling.
I could do this as a matinee. Maybe.

“Last Holiday” – Queen Latifah stars as a woman who learns she only has three weeks to live and decides to do all the things she's always wanted to do. Hmmm. I think I saw everything in the previews, and I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that the doctors made a mistake in her diagnosis.
I won’t even watch this when it is on HBO 75 times a month.

“Hoodwinked” – An animated and satirical take on the fairy tale "Little Red Riding Hood." Been there, done that with the “Shrek” films.
Watch this? Only if there are topless scenes of Jessica Rabbit.


  1. Wow...I'm out of it! I've only heard of one of those films. You just saved
    me some time and money! Cool!

  2. Blegh! I guess it's hard to come out with something original.
    Queen Latifah is one of those overexposed celebs that is starting to get on my nerves too. I suffered thru Taxi the other other night, her and Jimmy Fallon, soooo dumb I can't even remember what it was about. are always amusing with your cute little pics. I love it!

  3. Topless shots of Jessica Rabbit!

  4. I am one of those lame types who almost never goes to the movies. So I probably won't be seeing most of these. Think you can go see them all and come back with some reviews? Take one for the team, Shife!

    This plan will probably save me at least $50 a month...

  5. I'm sooo out of the loop when it comes to current movies...I did, however; just rent one that I'm excited's called "Saturday Night Fever"..anyone see it yet??....shhhh, don't ruin the ending for me !

  6. Ha i have only heard of the last one the animated one. I am not a big fan of going to the movies

  7. There is so much crap out there right now! This is the weekend of the two-star movies for sure.

  8. I saw Glory Road the first time around when it was called Remember the Titans.

  9. How come "Hoodwinked" sounds such a naughty, naughty thing to say!!

  10. Queen Latifah needs to hurry up and come out of the closet...sheesh.

  11. you mean there aren't any British movies out there that we can copy just like we do for every other TV show?

  12. I might be into the "Isolad & Trinidad" or whatever its called, but I have a problem with paying to see romance movies. Ick.

  13. I know so many guys who want to see Jessica Rabbit topless!!! She is one popular cartoon character. I saw Tristan and Isolde (the German spelling-- very funny about the names-- it should be Tristram or Tristam and Ysuelt-- the Welsh spelling. Wagner turned it into an opera and that's all anyone remembers--I'll be bloggin it-- it's real he-man telling-- very TROY. You could handle it easy. BTW-- I can't wait for next Friday's reviews!!!

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