Am I watching football or porno?

Well I pretty much watched football all weekend but I did have a moment of clarity in betweens bouts of vegetation. You could take quite a few of the comments made by the announcers during the game and use them in a porno script.

1. What a muff.
2. He has stuff all over his helmet.
3. He busted through that hole.
4. Look at that penetration.
5. That is a huge hole.
6. He is really pounding the ball inside.
7. It is a game of inches.
8. He really likes to work this part of the field.
9. He goes in untouched.
10. He moved it down the field into the end zone.
11. He finally put some points on the board.
12. He has opened up holes all day long.
13. Great field position.
14. He is going all the way.
15. He is about six inches short.
16. The tight end is wide open.
17. He has taken it to the next level.
18. Inside the red zone.
19. Here comes the pressure.
20. Jake the Snake is sacked for a loss. (Non-football fans Jake Plummer is a quarterback in the NFL, and his nickname is the Snake.)
21. He really plugged that hole.
22. He is the complete package.
23. Wide left.
24. He is willing to do almost anything to compete.
25. He found a soft spot in the zone.