Friday, December 02, 2005

Thank Hoff it is Friday

Hello everyone, well today I bid farewell to David Hasselhoff week on my blog. ... sniff ..... sob ...... sniff ..... sob .... . But as I wipe away my Hoff tears, I just wanted everyone to stop and think about how different the world would be without the Hoff. We all should be grateful that he is in our lives.

WITHOUT THE HOFF

We wouldn't smell nice

We wouldn't know how to turn Hoff the lights


We wouldn't know how to Log Hoff from our computer


We wouldn't be able to dress our pets


The world would not be a safer place


Employees wouldn't wash their hands


Hair dressers would be unemployed


We wouldn't be able to define grace under pressure



We wouldn't know want to do if a car just cut us off Our throats would be itchy and scratchy and sore

We wouldn't have Happy Hour


Russell Crowe would beat the shit out of every single hotel clerk in America


There would be starving kids in China

P.S. Thanks for putting up with me this week and I hope you can forgive my obsession with the Hoff. I promise my blog will return to normal next week. Have a great weekend, bloggers.

36 comments:

LBseahag said...

Fuck.
I am speechless...

You are a god. no, Hoff is...no, you are....no, hoff is...no, you are..no, hoff is...no, Hoff is...no, you are....no, hoff is...no, you are..no, hoff is...no, Hoff is...no, you are....no, hoff is...no, you are..no, hoff is...no, Hoff is...no, you are....no, hoff is...no, you are..no, hoff is...

angel, jr. said...

I wonder why he didn't come out with a chest hair maintenance kit.

Denise said...

Ew. Does that "strokin'off" contain "hoff drops"?

dashababy said...

LOL Funniest one yet to top it off. LMAO!

cher said...

that soap dispencer is priceless! do you think they sell them for all kinds of celebraties? i want a joey fatone one so bad it hurts.

T. Leach said...

Yeah, but the soap comes out of his ... area. That ain't right.

coloradohurricane said...

I'm with T. Leach on this one.

SuperSpyGal said...

LMFAOOOOOO....this was priceless !!

I, too would like a soap dispenser. They would make great Christmas gifts..

I'm sad to see the Hoff go, I developed a fondness for him over the past week...or its just a rash, I can't tell ...

Father of 3 said...

As great as that was, I still can't get the image of the naked Hoff with puppies from a few days back. If this image doesn't leave me soon, I will be forced to gouge my eyes out with a plastic fork from the cafeteria.

SugarHigh said...

**standing ovation**

that was superb... brilliant!

mrshife said...

LB -- I am not worthy of such high praise, but let the truth be told that this Hoff's world and I am just along for the ride.

Angel -- That is an ancient Chinese secret.

ME -- Quite possibly. Nice observation.

DB -- Thank you. We had to go out with a bang to conclude Hoff week.

Cher -- I don't know, but dream it you dreamer. Make Joey Fatone your personal soap dispenser.

T. Leach -- If that ain't right, then this world of ours is just wrong.

CH -- I am with myself on this one.

SSG -- You may want to seek the advice of a physician. You may have Hoffarrhea.

FO3 -- I have been told that no puppies were harmed during the photo shoot, but you may have to drink heavily to get that image out of your mind.

Sugar -- You are so sweet.

Luke said...

I am scared. Hoff just doesn't do it for me. But thanks for sharing a Russell Crowe moment. :)

the duck said...

truly amazing shife. now please let us never mention "the hoff" again. please.

Far said...

hahahaha @ the Hoff tribute!! Damn him and his hairy chesticles!!!

BriteYellowGun said...

He truly is a national treasure.

Shoe Diva said...

This is by far the funniest posts all week to the hoffmeister lmao

totolehero said...

wow, did you make all of those pictures ?? that's freaking impressive man !! i love that soap dispenser !!!

i'm glad this is over, and next time you decide to do a week tribute, i think you should consult us... (just kidding..)

that was entertaining...

dashababy said...

I wonder,,, do they make a Hoff shower head for those hard to reach places?

The Scarlett said...

I made this for you as a tribute; and, damn it, I hope you can see this link!

mrshife said...

Luke -- Don't be scared. Just hide in the Hoff's chest hair and you will be safe.

Duck -- It is a Duck sighting. I thought you were a victim of the bird flu.

Far -- Welcome aboard and for being my newest visitor you will receive those hairy chesticles.

BYG -- You are wise beyond your years, and welcome.

PE -- Since Hoff week was ending, I had to end with a grand finale.

Toto -- Sadly, I did not make all of those pictures. I am not that gifted. I am glad you were entertained.

DB -- Oh I am sure they do.

Scarlett -- OMG, that is beautiful. This is the best present a boy could ever want. Thank you so much. You are the best.

Vince said...

Way to end the week with a bang. Long live the Hoff.

Chairborne Stranger said...

Dude you are killing me? Where do you get all of this stuff?

Fiona said...

Ok, the employee hand soap... That is fricking awesome on so many levels...

Phats said...

Man you have all the cool hoff merchandise, all I have is his Baywatch lookalike swimsuit with matching sunglasses. What a bummer!

dorna! said...

No more Hoff? Sniff, hic, bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Say it ain't so!

missy said...

Do you promise to do a revival?

nicole said...

I can honestly say that I live in FEAR of who'll be featured next week.

Be nice to us, Shife.

PLEASE!!!!!

Scottish Toodler said...

SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iloved the lager "full of body and the perfect head"-- hey wait a minute, that was going to be MY marketing slogan...hehehe... SHIFE YOU ROCK!!! I hope the Hoff can come back someother week too!!!

Scottish Toodler said...

Oh and the soap dispenser is my second fave!!

Steph said...

Thank god that's over. I don't have to avert my eyes from your blog anymore. Very disturbing.

Terence said...

We can't have starving kids in China. Thank God for Hasselhoff.

/sheds tear

Anonymous Shannon said...

Hey man! You didn't mention is awesome singing career that was so popular in Germany. They evidently love him over there. I guess we'll "hoff" to hear sound clips of those next time.

A man like David doesn't "hoff"ten come along. Well, I guess at least not until the soap dispenser.

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

This whole thing has been hysterical!

Phats said...

I miss the HOFF!

Mike H said...

Hey Phats, buck up big guy. The Hoff is eternal. You can't miss him, because he's never gone.

Babette said...

You're hilarious!!!