Thank Hoff it is Friday

Hello everyone, well today I bid farewell to David Hasselhoff week on my blog. ... sniff ..... sob ...... sniff ..... sob .... . But as I wipe away my Hoff tears, I just wanted everyone to stop and think about how different the world would be without the Hoff. We all should be grateful that he is in our lives.


We wouldn't smell nice

We wouldn't know how to turn Hoff the lights

We wouldn't know how to Log Hoff from our computer

We wouldn't be able to dress our pets

The world would not be a safer place

Employees wouldn't wash their hands

Hair dressers would be unemployed

We wouldn't be able to define grace under pressure

We wouldn't know want to do if a car just cut us off Our throats would be itchy and scratchy and sore

We wouldn't have Happy Hour

Russell Crowe would beat the shit out of every single hotel clerk in America

There would be starving kids in China

P.S. Thanks for putting up with me this week and I hope you can forgive my obsession with the Hoff. I promise my blog will return to normal next week. Have a great weekend, bloggers.


  1. Fuck.
    I am speechless...

    You are a god. no, Hoff, you, hoff, you, hoff, Hoff, you, hoff, you, hoff, Hoff, you, hoff, you, hoff, Hoff, you, hoff, you, hoff is...

  2. I wonder why he didn't come out with a chest hair maintenance kit.

  3. Ew. Does that "strokin'off" contain "hoff drops"?

  4. LOL Funniest one yet to top it off. LMAO!

  5. that soap dispencer is priceless! do you think they sell them for all kinds of celebraties? i want a joey fatone one so bad it hurts.

  6. Yeah, but the soap comes out of his ... area. That ain't right.

  7. I'm with T. Leach on this one.

  8. LMFAOOOOOO....this was priceless !!

    I, too would like a soap dispenser. They would make great Christmas gifts..

    I'm sad to see the Hoff go, I developed a fondness for him over the past week...or its just a rash, I can't tell ...

  9. As great as that was, I still can't get the image of the naked Hoff with puppies from a few days back. If this image doesn't leave me soon, I will be forced to gouge my eyes out with a plastic fork from the cafeteria.

  10. LB -- I am not worthy of such high praise, but let the truth be told that this Hoff's world and I am just along for the ride.

    Angel -- That is an ancient Chinese secret.

    ME -- Quite possibly. Nice observation.

    DB -- Thank you. We had to go out with a bang to conclude Hoff week.

    Cher -- I don't know, but dream it you dreamer. Make Joey Fatone your personal soap dispenser.

    T. Leach -- If that ain't right, then this world of ours is just wrong.

    CH -- I am with myself on this one.

    SSG -- You may want to seek the advice of a physician. You may have Hoffarrhea.

    FO3 -- I have been told that no puppies were harmed during the photo shoot, but you may have to drink heavily to get that image out of your mind.

    Sugar -- You are so sweet.

  11. I am scared. Hoff just doesn't do it for me. But thanks for sharing a Russell Crowe moment. :)

  12. He truly is a national treasure.

  13. This is by far the funniest posts all week to the hoffmeister lmao

  14. I wonder,,, do they make a Hoff shower head for those hard to reach places?

  15. I made this for you as a tribute; and, damn it, I hope you can see this link!

  16. Luke -- Don't be scared. Just hide in the Hoff's chest hair and you will be safe.

    Duck -- It is a Duck sighting. I thought you were a victim of the bird flu.

    Far -- Welcome aboard and for being my newest visitor you will receive those hairy chesticles.

    BYG -- You are wise beyond your years, and welcome.

    PE -- Since Hoff week was ending, I had to end with a grand finale.

    Toto -- Sadly, I did not make all of those pictures. I am not that gifted. I am glad you were entertained.

    DB -- Oh I am sure they do.

    Scarlett -- OMG, that is beautiful. This is the best present a boy could ever want. Thank you so much. You are the best.

  17. Dude you are killing me? Where do you get all of this stuff?

  18. Ok, the employee hand soap... That is fricking awesome on so many levels...

  19. Man you have all the cool hoff merchandise, all I have is his Baywatch lookalike swimsuit with matching sunglasses. What a bummer!

  20. No more Hoff? Sniff, hic, bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Say it ain't so!

  21. Do you promise to do a revival?

  22. I can honestly say that I live in FEAR of who'll be featured next week.

    Be nice to us, Shife.


  23. SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iloved the lager "full of body and the perfect head"-- hey wait a minute, that was going to be MY marketing slogan...hehehe... SHIFE YOU ROCK!!! I hope the Hoff can come back someother week too!!!

  24. Oh and the soap dispenser is my second fave!!

  25. Thank god that's over. I don't have to avert my eyes from your blog anymore. Very disturbing.

  26. We can't have starving kids in China. Thank God for Hasselhoff.

    /sheds tear

  27. This whole thing has been hysterical!

  28. Hey Phats, buck up big guy. The Hoff is eternal. You can't miss him, because he's never gone.

  29. Anonymous12/11/2005

    You're hilarious!!!


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