Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I got my first Christmas present
Aaahhh, the cold and flu season has finally paid a visit to Mr. Shife. I am such a lucky bastard. I got a flu shot this year, I have been taking 1000 mg of Vitamin C, but I still got a visit from the cold fairy. In an effort to minimize the horribleness that is a cold, I have been taking Airborne 5 times a day and increased my daily Vitamin C intake to 1500 mg. Well it turns out that every dose of Airborne contains 1000 mg, and combined with all the orange juice I have been throwing back I am putting down more than 7000 mg of Vitamin C a day. Guess what one of the side effects of too much Vitamin C is? Gas. I am having a fart marathon with myself. For some reason my co-workers are wearing haz-mat suits when they come by my desk. I am a biological disaster. I feel like I just fueled up for a shuttle mission to Mars. I have a full payload. Remember Pigpen from the Peanuts and Charlie Brown? That is me, except I am being trailed by a Vitamin C mushroom gas cloud. Ooops, there goes another one. Mrs. Shife is going to love me tonight, but at this time of year it is better to give than to receive.