Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Word Up


Greetings. Well it looks like the sickness that has been going around our office has finally caught up with me so I will be at home today and will not have access to my computer. But I found this awesome list of words before the Nyquil kicked in and I would love to know which one is your favorite. I will be back in full force Thursday so talk to everyone then.

20 Words That Should Be In The Dictionary

1. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. -- Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.
2. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. -- Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
3. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa bib' re um) n. -- The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b)squirting himself in the eye (or ear).
4. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. -- When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through he grill into the coals.
5. BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. -- People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
6. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. -- The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
7. DIMP (dimp) n. -- A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
8. DISCONFECT (dis kon fect') v. -- To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.
9. ECNALUBMA (ek na leb' ma) n. -- A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear view mirror.
10. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. -- Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.
11. ELBONICS (el bon icks') n. -- The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
12. ELECELLERATON (el a cel er ay' shun) n. -- The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
13. FRUST (frust) n. -- The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
14. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) v. -- Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the illegal side.
15. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. -- A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.
16. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. -- The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
17. PETROPHOBIC (pet ro fob' ik) adj. -- One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.
18. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. -- The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
19. PUPKUS (pup kus') n. -- The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses it nose to it.
20. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. -- The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, when you're only six inches away.

27 comments:

mrshife said...

I pick LACTOMANGULATION. I don't know how many times I have done this especially with those little milk cartons.

Atalanta said...

ECNALUBMA. I'm so tired, it actually took me a minute to realize how you came up with that one.

Hope you feel better!

Darius Torque said...

I'll add a few more...stolen of course from the 'The Meaning of Lif' by the late great Douglas Adams and John Lloyd (look it up man).

Grimbister (GRIM-bis-ter) n.
Large body of cars on a highway all traveling at exactly the speed limit because one of them is a police car.

or

Naugatuck (NAW-ger-tuk) n.
A plastic packet containing shampoo, mustard, etc., which is impossible to open except by biting off the corners

or one I just made up

Bugalled (Bug -gowl-d)

Too tired to enter the 'word verification letters' correctly two times in a row

Enjoy

Stressed Darius

coloradohurricane said...

Hey, Shife, take a dose of Nyquil for me. Actually, just start drinking it 'til the midgets come home.

Get well soon.

The Scarlett said...

I have one! *jumps excitedly like a small terrier*:
Parkma - the foreknowledge of which aisle to drive down at a busy mall to snag the only available parking spot. (I totally have Parkma ... and I need to work on curtailing that jumping thing before it makes me loopy).

Vince said...

I also pick Lactomangulation. True story: when I was in around seventh or eight grade, the school district switched from little milk cartons to little plastic pouches and straws. Wtf?

Denise said...

Awesome words! You should write your own dictionary….you could call it a “SHIFEinary”.

I’m guilty of/afflicted with:

TELECRASTINATION
PHONESIA
ELECELLERATON
ELBONICS
DIMP (except I’m the dimp...OOOPS!)
AQUADEXTROUS (that’s not all I can do with my toes...LOL ask my husband!)
ACCORDIONATED (Of course I actually know how to read a map…unlike him!)

And my husband is guilty of/afflicted with:

LACTOMANGULATION
ELECELLERATON
ELBONICS
DISCONFECTing pretty much everything!
CARPERPETUATION (on the FEW occasions he actually vacuums)
BURGACIDE (the burgers ALWAYS does this when he cooks...it’s horrible)


I have never experienced AQUALIBRIUM since I suffer from FOUNTAPHOBIA (the irrational fear of drinking fountain cooties)

I despise FRUST...it FRUSTtrates me!

I’m a BUZZACK because I will not only pick up a display phone and listen for dial tone…I also have a conversation with the person I call on the non-functioning phone.

jamwall said...

i like the word "LACTOMANGULATION" because it involves both manhandling and milk.

i can frequently be seen lactomangulating a carton of kemps skim.

totolehero said...

my favorite is ELECELLERATON.. cuz i see one every day at the office.. they press and press and press, but nothing happens differently, but they never learn.

I WANT MORE WORDS !!!!

i hope you feel better mrshife.. i'm sending you healthy energy through the wind, so open the window for a lungful of montreal air...

LBseahag said...

dimps and peppiers are like leaches on me....glad you provided a name for them...yutz is getting old...

LBseahag said...

oh, and get well soon...we need you in blogworld more than your job does....

Max said...

Lactomangulation for the win. I don't even try anymore, just punch a hole in the top with a knife.

Max said...

Also,

KIDDYCARP (kid-ee-KARP)n.
The sound windshield wipers make.

"The kiddycarp of the wiper blades was the only thing keeping Max Powers awake on his trip to the holy shrine."

T. Leach said...

Circumpopulate (sur kum pop' yew layt') - v. To finish off a Popsicle "laterally" because the "frontal" approach causes one to gag. Works on other shit, too, not just popsicles.

To borrow your phrase, Max, "You know it!"

Jon said...

I'm going to have to go with "Petrophobic". My cat just looks at me weird sometimes.

angel, jr. said...

I'm going to have to say aqualibrium. Sucking other people's spit is not very thirst quenching.

Fiona said...

MrShife you didn't wash your hands did you? DID YOU? You disobeyed the posters.

SuperSpyGal said...

I was actually guilty of #18 this morning.....as I was calling someone AND multi-tasking...I totally forgot who I called so I saved myself by saying, "yea, it's me, what did you want?"...it was wrong to do, but I panicked !! :-P

sc said...

I pick PHONESIA. I actually had this happen the other day, I had to look at the phone to remember who I called. Feel better.

Scottish Toodler said...

Okay I have done that carpetuation before, I admit it, but I am not proud of it.

DucatiMike said...

Howdy. I'm still here. I don't have any wierd words cept maybe...

Boobielicious


ONE TRACK MIND.

dashababy said...

What kind of medicine are you taking? Where do you come up with this stuff?
Get well soon.

Chairborne Stranger said...

Yes, like D said, amazing imagination-you rock. And take your meds. get better.

Steph said...

Petrophobic. I know my dog wants to hump my leg but the way he looks at me i seriously think he wants to lick my nipples too!! Kinkeh!...no actually. That's very depraved!

Terence said...

Telecrastination gets my vote. I'm even guilty of it with my cell phone.

SugarHigh said...

word- i am down with the sickness too. It sucks cuz i'm not running a fever, but I feel like poo none-the-less. blech. hope you are feeling better.

my fave is pupkus- i am very aware of the meaning and have more pupkus on my car windows then i care to. oh the price we pay to have cute furry things.

cher said...

i guess i have kidkus on my windows as my profile pic is crofton licking my car window.

I am guilty of forgetting who i call all the time. Actually i'm guilty of forgetting almost everything.

Also, the Dimp thing, except I'm the dimper. It normally goes like this:
ME-Excuse me?
DIMPEE-Oh, I don't work here...
ME-(embarassed and now realizing this person isn't even wearing a uniform)I was just wondering if you had the time.