Friday, November 18, 2005

Top Turkey of 2005


So in the spirit of the holiday season and because I have to get my other Hello Kitty tattoo removed, here is something easy on the brain. We have to save those brain cells for the weekend. Who was the top turkey in 2005? Was it a movie, a dvd, a cd, a song, a celebrity or your mother-in-law? Let's hear about it people.





Now you would think it would boil down to these two celebrity clowns for me, Ashlee versus Star Jones.
But no way, these two ass bags get the Top Turkey of a Lifetime. They are way bigger than just one year.

So I decided it had to be a movie that sucked the most for me this year, and the two finalists are "I Heart Huckabees" and "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow." Now both of these dogs came out in 2004, but I rented them in 2005. The Angelina Jolie factor saves Sky Captain, and so my top turkey is "I Heart Huckabees."



And Augie Boy made me feel completely lazy so I am going to add to my list.

Sports: Barry Bonds
Music: Hillary Duff. Releasing a greatest hits album, please.
Politics: W.
TV: Fox for cancelling "Arrested Development."

33 comments:

Steph said...

I don't get the whole Star Jones hate. We see THE VIEW on cable down here and yeah, don't get it.

So I would definantly say ASh simpson, closely followed by her sister. If they rubbed their two brain cells together they would be lucky to raise a spark. Arggh!

augieboy said...

My Turkey's of the year:

Sports: Raffy Palmeiro & Terrell Owens (tie). 3rd place to Denny Green.

Music: Miss Lipsync/Halftime Simpson

Politics: another tie between Governor of Louisiana & Mayor of New Orleans.

TV: The Producers of "Medium" for hawking those 3D glasses in TV Guide (who in the world uses TV Guide anymore ?).

Movies: The Creators of Team America (for making me laugh so hard it hurt).

Business: Oil execs. that absolutely screwed the American public.

The Scarlett said...

I'd say in film, I'd give The Honeymooners the top Turkey.

Vince said...

Once, we succesfully mated a bulldog and a shiatsu.

Really?

Yeah, we called it a Star Jones.

Max said...

I liked Augieboy's format...so I'll do the same.

Sports: Kobe Bryant. Good job, asshat.

Music: Ashlee Simpson. Get some talent.

Politics: I hate to say it, but I haven't been impressed with Mr. Bush, and I really like the guy.

TV: Fox, for cancelling Arrested Development.

Movies: The Island. Nuff said.

Business: TiVo. People like you because they can skip commercials, stop cowtowing to advertisers.

angel, jr. said...

I didn't see either one of them. I still say Ashlee Simpson because of the chicken dance she did on Saturday Night Live.

jamwall said...

My Turkey's of the year:

Sports: Terrell Owens (for making Randy Moss seem like a nice reasonable guy--not an easy feat).

Music: There are so many that suck here, that I can't keep up. but i'll say that its a tie between Ashlee Simpson (for being a total phony) and Toby Keith (i don't think he did anything new this year, but i generally despise right-wing country singers.)

Politics: dubya and cheney (nobody comes close!)

TV: Entertainment Tonight for trying to pull the crap with the petite "correspondent" in the fat suit. "Oh I was sooo mistreated! *boo-hoo*"

Movies: Blade III (saw it on DVD). has every cheesy cliche in the book.

Business: Oil execs by a longshot.

T. Leach said...

You can't just show up here and sign your name, can you? Gotta do all this thinking nonsense ... Okay, okay, top turkey?

Top of mind I'm going to say Pat Robertson--for putting the hit out on Hugo Chavez and for his condemnation of all those supporting 'intelligent design'. Like he's God or something.

Have a great weekend.

totolehero said...

mrshife, i can't believe your movie turkey is I heart Huckabeeeeess... i'm so sad.., but that's ok.. i'll get over it !!!

my general turkey for the past 4 years or so is Mr. Bush himself...

in terms of music, kanye west's last album kindda sucked and over-rated...

movie-wise...i don't watch bad movies... ohhhhhhhh!!!! (just kidding.. i just can't think of one right now..)

LBseahag said...

Good call, Shife...

I have two more to add:
1)Johnny Knoxville (for denying he closed the deal with Jessica Simpson)
2)Runaway Bride's Fiance (what a schmuck)

Shittiest movie for me:
Birth. Nicole Kidman, fire your agent...

Dirk the Feeble said...

Star Jones is the suck.

SugarHigh said...

okay, I'll admit that Ashlee is turkey-tastic, but I'd have to say that the biggest Turkeys for me this year were Mr. Bushwacko and Paris Hilton.
Paris Hilton is the plague for me, she is everywhere and I just can't get rid of her. Ugh, she makes me vomit.

Fiona said...

My Turkeys:

Britney Spears: she's blossomed into a lovely white trash whore

I agree with LB: Runaway Bride's finace'-he's totally snowed

Music? The song "My Hump" by the Black Eyed Peas... Come ON guys you can do so much better than that. That was pathetic.

Movies? I think I was lucky this year-didn't see anything too terrible

TV: ANY of the damn reality shoes that cater to the publics obsession of beauty, trauma and backstabbing

Radio: Man (Mad?) Cow in the morning on the X. What the hell guys? I hate that show.

Illness: Bird Flu. You bastards

Insects: Centipedes (for making me cry-i hate you)

mrshife said...

Steph -- She is a media whore, selfish, self-centered, a pig, rude, mean, vile, and completely absorbed with herself, plus she loves to wear fur.

Augieboy -- Thanks for giving me a push in the right direction and to give off my lazy ass and finish the list.

Scarlett -- Haven't seen it, but it looked like shit.

Vince -- Very nice.

Max -- Excellent.

Angel -- Right on.

Jamwall -- I actually enjoyed Blade III because of Ryan Reynolds.

T. Leach -- You are money as usual.

Toto -- Sorry I just couldn't get into that film.

LB -- You are the best.

Armaedes -- You know it.

Paris -- She blows.

The Scarlett said...

Okay, I didn't actually see The Honeymooners ... that's how bad it sucked.

So, now, I feel pressured into doing this expanded list:

Sports: Terrell Owens (who sucked so bad that even I, who hate sports, has an opinion that he sucked)

Music: Ashlee "Acid-Reflux" Simpson

Politics: FEMA

TV: Tara Reid!!!!!!

Movie I actually saw: The Upside of Anger

Scottish Toodler said...

Well, the year isn't over yet and I anticipate some real turkeys in theaters following Thanksgiving. And I didn't follow the Ashlee Simpson thing. Honestly everytime you talk about Star Jones I go "huh?" and then have to remember who she is. So I am voting for everything Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.

Phats said...

My turkeys for 2005
Sports- Mike Davis *iu hoops coach and a big idiot!

HM palmeiro

Celeb- Ashlee Simpson, you can't get away with acid reflux lip sync act.

TV- ER, it's time to hang it up! oh wait! I mean Maggie and Ivette from Big Brother 6!!

Luke said...

I just don't have any top turkeys I can think of that haven't been said above.

Father of 3 said...

Sports: Chad pennington

Movie: Shark Boy and Lava Girl (even my kids hated thiso ne)

TV: Peter Brady reality show...or Dancing with the Stars

Politics: Nagin/Blanco

Music: Michael Jackson

LBseahag said...

Good call, Fater of 3...the show Brady and the Tramp sucked bigtime...

cher said...

i have to say Tom Cruise is just the biggest freakin' turkey around. He single handedly trashed his own career.
gobble gobble Tom. That's right, I said it. Gobble gobble.

Design Goddess said...

my top turkey is the brat from my Atlanta trip.

Phats said...

Hey just saw the Vandals about got ZAGA in hoops, close! 69-60 after leading 34-33 at half Idaho must not be too bad in hoops

mrshife said...

Yes, they played them pretty tough. We used to be really good in the hoops, actually made to the sweet 16 back in the day. But like our football team we have fallen on dark days. We only won 9 games last year, but the coach looks like he picked up some good recruits so maybe our luck is changing.

Denise said...

Good Morning!!!

dashababy said...

I almost broke my neck one day trying to find the remote to hit the MUTE button when I heard Ashlee Simpson was going to be "singing" on GMA. Even without sound she is annoying. How does she get any air time??? How??

Matthew said...

Barry Bonds for sports? He didn't even play!

No, no, no. You have two other fine, even stellar, candidates:

1) Rafael (I never took steroids) Palmeiro

2) Terrell (I have a big mouth but my agents' is even bigger) Owens

Tough call on those two but I think you gotta go with the cheat over the big mouth.

(Oh, just looked over at augieboy and see he agrees with me. Okay, I'm going home now.)

coloradohurricane said...

owens by a mile in sports

Simpson in music

w has earned the political turkey award this year, although the mayor N.O and governor of LA deserve to share the award as well.

Phats said...

75 pts OUCH! :(

mrshife said...

Actually it was only 70, Phats. They outscored us 49-14 in the second half. It was ugly.

tiggysmum70 said...

My top turkey would be

Next door neighbors that have nothing better to do than to try to get your dog in trouble with the police because they heard something and didn't check it out first!

That burns my butt.

BTW I am designgoddess' sister.
Great blog!

missy said...

Movie: Revolver (what the hell was that about?!)
Sports: David Beckham (if only he wasn't so hot...)
TV: reality shows (give us fiction, pleasee!)
Politics: Tony Blair

Sydney said...

Top Turkeys - Oh Please, nobody said anything about the whole BritKevFest yet?

Wherein two morons roam the nation in a tourbus, film it, and televise it nationally so that we can WATCH them mutter completely asinine things to eachother and call it "deep conversation" whilst Brit's bod looks less and less Britalicious during each ensuing mile and begins to bulge and swell suspiciously in all the wrong places?

BARF