Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Isn't it Ironic?


Sometimes the stuff that I become obsessed with drives Mrs. Shife crazy. This past weekend, I bugged her endlessly about certain people and if they died a certain way, would it be ironic.
For example, Jim Fixx, author of the best selling "Complete Book of Running," which started the jogging craze of the 1970s died of heart attack ... while jogging.
So in Mr. Shife's Fantasy World and Land of Make Believe, which of these deaths would be the most ironic?

  1. Star Jones while wearing her fur coats is clubbed to death.
  2. Britney Spears dies of exposure.
  3. Steven Spielberg dies from a shark attack.
  4. Paris Hilton is struck down by a random thought.
  5. Bill Gates falls out of a window.
  6. The inventor of Immodium AD dies from explosive diarrhea.
  7. A president of a company that sends out massive amounts of spam chokes on a Spam sandwich.
  8. The Unabomber has a mail bomb returned due to insufficient postage.
  9. Barry Bonds has his head shrunk.
  10. Ronald McDonald dies from Mad Cow disease.
  11. Ashlee Simpson fakes her own death but no one cares.

I kind of lost steam at the end here, and I am sure some of you have some good ones so as always your comments are welcomed and appreciated.

36 comments:

mrshife said...

I of course vote for Star Jones.

Darius Torque said...

Britney dying from a random thought of course!

Can't really think of a uber-funny way to put this (too stressed at the mo' - help anyone??? please??).

But something like

"President George W Bush dies from carbon dioxide poisoning whilst switching on ANOTHER greenhouse gas spewing coal power plant. Vice President Cheney denies all links to the company that designed the plant "Second-Hand Stolen from 1950's Soviet Russia Era TEK".

Steph said...

I love the random thought one aswell.

How about Colonel Sanders dying from Bird flu! BAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!...wait. I think he's already dead :/

angel, jr. said...

Ashlee, faking her's. I still love her "singing" on Saturday Night Live. Can't wait for it to come out on DVD.
And as for "GERD" being her reason? What does an upset stomach have to do with vocal cords--I can correlate that, but can't correlate anything else I learned in medical school.

totolehero said...

you are too funny !!!

i love the paris hilton and the ronald mcdonald ones...

i just can't compete with you mrshife !!!

Father of 3 said...

I got one: O.J. Simpson trampled to death by a white bronco.

mrshife said...

I like your thinking FO3, and I was trying to get think of a good bird flu victim, Steph, but the only thing I could come up with was the San Diego Chicken mascot.
And Darius, you are too stressed.

Father of 3 said...

One more: Billy Joel killed by a drunk driver. (that's it from me, I promise!)

Denise said...

I'd love to see the explosive diarrhea death! LOL Yes, I'm that disturbed.

Dirk the Feeble said...

My favorite was the Unabomber one, though Bill Gates falling out of a window is good stuff, too. Quit picking on Star Jones!

I was thinking along the lines of President Bush being involved in some sort of shrubbery accident, but I'm sure that guy is going to give us a much more Darwin Awards-related death than that.

SugarHigh said...

I like the Star Jones one, and the explosive diarrhea. too funny.

Scottish Toodler said...

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME LMAO FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!!! You are one SERIOUSLY funny dude!! YOU ROCK... but I do pity poor Mrs Shife sometimes...hehehe... I loved the Spam sandwich and Ashley Simpson-- but I think it would be more ironic if Jessica died--somehow ironically-- and then Ashley faked hers for publicity. Then we would be rid of them both.

T. Leach said...

Charlton Heston being gunned down by the "Thugs of the Constitution."

cher said...

Arm-quit picking on her? NEVER!!! MUhhahahahaha!!

As I'm sure you imagined, the Star Jones thing made me laugh, but I read the headline a little differently. it said "Star Jones eats herself alive" (although, my memory is a little hazy. it might have been Carnie Wilson)

I also read these:

Tom Cruise dies from fatal blow to the head after tripping over his words.

Glen Close attacked and killed by rabits.

Leonardo DiCaprio drowns

Tara Reid dies when she tragically forgets she is a functioning retard and smashes a beer bottle over her head

Nicloe Richie gets blown over in gust of wind and falls to her demise

Vince said...

I love the Star Jones one. Can the clubber wear a baby seal costume?

Morgan Spurlock chokes on an organic carrot.

cher said...

Celine Dion is crushed to death on stage by her ego.

mrshife said...

Mental -- Well you came to the right blog if you are indeed disturbed.

Sorry Armaedes, but Star is going down.

T. Leach -- I knew I could count on you for a gem

Cher -- I honestly think the Tara Reid one has a shot.

Vince -- Or if he died while in bed with a hooker dressed as Ronald McDonald.

ST, Sugar, and toto -- You guys are the best.

mrshife said...

Cher -- Or her heart gives out, thus it can no longer go on.

dashababy said...

Funny stuff there. You got me laughing this morning.
How bout Superman dies after a fall from a horse?

The Scarlett said...

Gene Simmons could choke on his own tongue.

I love Mr. Shife's Fantasy World and Land of Make Believe (MSFW&LoMB. It is a land in which all Star Jones Haters (SJH) can find a safe haven.

Vince said...

Dashababy, that was awful, and I loved it.

Katina Cloud said...

LoL this was funny! I loved the Paris Hilton one.

Makes you wonder though....

Shoe Diva said...

lmao this is very funny -- I needed that today ---- nice blog :-)

missy said...

haha! cool site, mrshife!

missy said...

Thanks for the dropping my blog, too! I have you on RSS feed now, so I'll be watching you!

Deshaun said...

Seen your comment in neurotic missy's blog and stopped by. And I must say, I love this blog already! I'll be checking you out daily man, so keep on posting!

Anyway, my pick would be, Bill gates falling out a window. That shit was so funny when I first read it!

coloradohurricane said...

While visiting a liquor bottling facility, Senator Ted Kennedy drowns in a vat of alcohol ?

Oprah gets trampled by cattle ?

Michael Jackson dies while being molested by aliens ?

Blonde said...

You do realize what this means....your death is going to be caused by drunken midgets running you down.

I will probably choke to death on a hairball (like a cat) since I have an open dislike for hairy men.

LBseahag said...

that kicked ass...

ashlee simpson...hee hee..

and she dances a jig in the coffin...that's what we call rigormortus, little Connor and Breeanna...(cuz none of her fans have real names, they were born in the 90s)

and i second darius torque..

i hope condoleeza rice swallowed some of that after she gave him the biggest and longest knob-slobbner of her life..

Chairborne Stranger said...

I gotta vote random thought. Big laughs here man.

SuperSpyGal said...

Lmaooo...this is a great post !!

I'd like to envision all of these...I'm warped that way, but I'd really like to see Star Jones buried under a pile of Payless shoe boxes while she screams in terror ;-)

cher said...

MrShifes readers die laughing.

mrshife said...

Dashababy -- Very nice and I believe you have a fan in Vince.

Scarlett -- You are always welcome in MSFW&LoMB.

Neurotic and Deshaun -- Thanks for stopping by and come back anytime.

Hurricane -- I like your choices, and I was going to do an Oprah one but Mrs. Shife had no idea about the cattle thing and she is my barometer.

Blonde -- You are absolutely correct. No more Little People of America conventions for me.

LB -- I am still jealous of your White Castle adventures. I hope you have recovered.

CS -- Glad I could make you chuckle, you deserve it.

SuperSpy -- I like your Star Jones death scenario as well.

Kels said...

Gotta go w/ the unibomber. That was hilARious!

cher said...

MrShife's fellow bloggers die of bordom due to lack of posting on his part.

"Here we are now....entertain us!!"

cher said...

woah... i needed to refresh my computer in the worst way! there's two other posts i haven't even read!!