Monday, November 14, 2005
For Your Reading Pleasure
I proudly present my new idea for a TV show that I am going to pitch to the networks.
The idea was partially inspired by T. Leach.
Title of show: "Mehoff"
Genre: Legal drama
Plot: Jack Mehoff is a wealthy attorney who decides his life is not rewarding, so he quits his practice and focuses on doing pro-bono work for those who can't afford quality legal services.
Here is a sampling of the the script. The following scene takes place in courtroom.
Judge Kojak: Mr. Mehoff your witness. (Kojak is antsy. He wants this case to wrap up because he wants to go windsurfing on Mount Baldy)
Jack doesn't hear the Judge. He is staring intently at his notepad, stroking the one-eyed burping gecko he brings with him for good luck.
Judge Kojak: Mr. Mehoff, are you having a play date with your little friend. IT IS your witness.
Jack Mehoff: Oh, I am sorry your honor. I forgot I am not playing in a one-man show.
Jack stands up and walks over to the witness, Henry Longfellow.
Jack Mehoff: Good morning, Mr. Longfellow. So is it safe to assume you like taking matters into your own hands?
Henry Longfellow: I guess so. There is no point in yanking your crank.
Jack Mehoff: Good to hear that you are coming to grips with yourself. But we have evidence of you punching the clown?
Henry Longfellow: I was at the mill where I got a fresh delivery of wood. Since when is stripping the bark off your wood a crime?
Jack Mehoff: Oh please, the evidence was all over your hands, Mr. Longfellow. I suppose next you are going to tell me that you have been teaching a one-eyed Chinaman how to dance.
Longfellow attempts to answer, but Mehoff is ready to take this monster for a one-armed ride.
Jack Mehoff: You were mad. You were ready to blow your load. That clown was going to pay for visiting Rosy Palm and her five daughters. Wasn't he? Answer the question, Longfellow.
Harry Sack, Longfellow's attorney, stands up and objects.
Harry Sack: He is badgering the witness, your honor.
Judge Kojak: Mehoff, this kind of posturing may work if you were dropping the kids off at the pool, but this is a court of law. Either start shifting to fifth gear with the pork spear or rest your case.
Jack Mehoff: Yes your honor. (Inside Meoff is fuming, and all he can think about is choking the bald guy until he pukes.)
Jack Mehoff: I should have stayed home and had a tug of war with Cyclops.
Judge Kojak: Mr. Mehoff, you are making a mockery of this court. If you want to play with yourself, fine, but quit pumping the soft soap dispenser and do your job.
Meoff rubs his arm, working out a stiff joint.
Firing the flesh musket last night was not a good idea.
But that jerk off, Longfellow, was going to pay. What he did to that clown was just as bad as smacking the yak 'til it spits back. Another case that left him shooting his wad but still not getting the outcome he desired.
So that is all I got right now, it is a work in progress. I got to get going I am arm-wrestling the purple-headed stormtrooper at Hooters.