Top 10 Things I Don't Want

Yesterday's list was fun, even though it was inappropriate, so let's do it again. So here is my list of things I don't ever want.
Feel free to add your own, and as always, your comments are welcomed and appreciated. And don't forget to tip your waitstaff.

  1. To spend an intimate evening with Anne Murray.
  2. To make a love connection in jail.
  3. To wash my balls in a ball washer.
  4. To have a roman shower.
  5. To be featured on any Fox reality show especially "When Animals Attack," "Cops," or "America's Most Wanted."
  6. To be assassinated by a Ninja.
  7. To join the Clay Aiken Fan Club.
  8. To develop a fear of pooping.
  9. To be kidnapped by a cannibal.
  10. To have this guy as my doctor.

P.S. As much as I bitch about it, there is a new episode of "Lost" on tonight and I am excited. Not like seeing gratuitous nudity excited but almost. And I was wondering if there was an analyst/therapist out there? If you watched "Arrested Development" you know what I am talking about.


  1. Haha, and there was no way I could comment on yesterday's post--random wood ain't a good thing!

  2. Not sure I can think of 10 things, but here's a start.

    In no particular order, and in all seriousness, I don't ever want to:

    1. go bunji jumping
    2. go sky diving
    3. go camping
    4. get mugged
    5. die a cowardly death
    6. get fat
    7. have a job with a dress code

  3. Anonymous10/05/2005

    I don't want:
    10. To Meet Tom Cruise-YUK.
    9. to get my tongue stuck to a flag pole in the middle of winter in a cage full of ornery ostriches
    8. To grow up and act my full age
    7. To learn that absolutely anyone that i've ever met is a she-male
    6. To be spanked by an angry monkey whom i've hired to do battles with and spanking wasn't part of the deal
    5. To live in New Orleans or any place that is below sea level just miles from the ocean
    4. to meet the bears that ate the Grizzly Man
    3. to be shot out of a cannon
    2. to turn 30
    1. tp be told that there is a cockroach that has made his home in my inner ear and refuses to leave until his kids reach maturity.

  4. Anonymous10/05/2005

    Top 10 things I don't want...
    and they are in no order!
    1)To burn to death
    2)To have Monazuma’s revenge
    3)To eat yellow snow
    4)To forget to wear clothes
    5)To be stuck in a elevator listening to Steely Dan…I think that one should be #1!!
    6)Fall down stairs
    7)Walk into a crowded room with my zipper down
    8)Be bitten by a shark
    9)Be accused of a crime I didn’t do
    10)Steely Dan fan list!

  5. Seriously, you don't want to be assassinated by a ninja? That's crazy. I hope to be someday.

  6. Man, I just clicked on that ball washer link--ouch, holy cow!!! Nuts, literally.

  7. it freaked me out when clay started talking! I didn't expect that. he is the biggest mamby pamby of them all... ok, my list....
    1-ingrown toenails
    2-Christmas to cost so much
    3-someone to bite off my ears or nose
    4-more speeding tickets
    5-to only ever have a gas station bathroom available to me, even at home.
    6-Brad and Angelina to decide to adopt me too
    7-my mum to ever live with me
    8-rob's mom to ever live with me
    9-to forget how to read
    10-to get stuck in traffic permanently

  8. I don't want a Roman Shower from Earl.

  9. I am with you T. Leach in regards to Earl, and Cher, getting adopted by Angelina and Brad would be quite scary.

  10. Anonymous10/12/2005

    Hey, be nice to Clay. He is really sweet!


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