Top 10 Inappropriate Erections

I am sure someone has already done this top 10 list, but this is my version and I have to keep things short and sweet today because the baseball playoffs start today so I will be pretty useless.
So here is my list of the most inopportune times to get a fresh delivery of wood.
Feel free to add your own and as usual, comments are welcomed and appreciated.
  1. At a Girl Scout Jamboree
  2. Petting the sheep at the zoo or pony rides (I can't decide which is worse)
  3. Getting a physical
  4. Getting your colon checked
  5. While in jail/prison
  6. At the nude beach
  7. During a shower at your gym
  8. Watching self-help gurus such as Dr. Phil or Richard Simmons
  9. While you are wrestling during a high school or collegiate match
  10. Being patted down or searched by a male law enforcement officer or airport security


  1. Hmmm, this looks like one of those ideas I should have left in my head. I guess inappropriate boners is not a fan favorite.

  2. Hey! You copied my Big 10 lists! I've been doing Big 10 lists on my site for YEARS! I'm sure I'm not the only one I know who has made a list of 10 things before, but I'm the only blogger I know who has done it, therefore, you copied me! I'm gonna throw a shit-fit and write an angry blog post about you now. Good-bye!

  3. At my age, any boner is appropriate. Besides, I have a real lust for life.

  4. Very funny, platkat.

  5. Isn't it the movie High Fidelity with John Cusack where it's 1 big non stop list? I love any John Cusack movie.

    By the way, I'm SUCH a retard I actually thought until you listed your list that there was a bad time for someone to get a delivery of wood. I couldn't come up with anything either! I was like, I guess if you already have enough wood? DER!!

  6. When the wind blows...

  7. Anonymous10/04/2005

    How about when your having your hair shampooed at your local salon!

  8. I wish I was on the list...

    As in men get boners around me.

  9. Ok, these would be the worst places for a "solid hello" in my daily routine.

    1. While bench pressing.
    2. During a new client pitch.
    3. Visiting the in-laws for dinner.
    4. At the lunch table at work.
    5. Riding your bike.
    6. Bathroom of a bar.

  10. when a man is giving you a massage...a la George Costanza "it moved".

    or while at the gym in front of woman working out.

    when speaking at a public engagement.

  11. I need to get more lovely ladies to read my blog. Any suggestions?

  12. While making a sub @ subway (good thing we wear aprons)

  13. Anonymous10/05/2005

    How about at a job interview with a prominant company and the interviewer is male and elderly...and your pants happen to be a tad too tight and you get the job and the interviewer now won't stop winking at you?

  14. "Where's that muscley armed paper boy?"

  15. How about after receiving a kiss from your grandmother.

  16. Ha ha ha! You just brightened up my day, very funny!

  17. At your wife's funeral.


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