Top 10 Inappropriate Erections

I am sure someone has already done this top 10 list, but this is my version and I have to keep things short and sweet today because the baseball playoffs start today so I will be pretty useless.
So here is my list of the most inopportune times to get a fresh delivery of wood.
Feel free to add your own and as usual, comments are welcomed and appreciated.
  1. At a Girl Scout Jamboree
  2. Petting the sheep at the zoo or pony rides (I can't decide which is worse)
  3. Getting a physical
  4. Getting your colon checked
  5. While in jail/prison
  6. At the nude beach
  7. During a shower at your gym
  8. Watching self-help gurus such as Dr. Phil or Richard Simmons
  9. While you are wrestling during a high school or collegiate match
  10. Being patted down or searched by a male law enforcement officer or airport security


  1. Hmmm, this looks like one of those ideas I should have left in my head. I guess inappropriate boners is not a fan favorite.

  2. Hey! You copied my Big 10 lists! I've been doing Big 10 lists on my site for YEARS! I'm sure I'm not the only one I know who has made a list of 10 things before, but I'm the only blogger I know who has done it, therefore, you copied me! I'm gonna throw a shit-fit and write an angry blog post about you now. Good-bye!

  3. At my age, any boner is appropriate. Besides, I have a real lust for life.

  4. Very funny, platkat.

  5. Isn't it the movie High Fidelity with John Cusack where it's 1 big non stop list? I love any John Cusack movie.

    By the way, I'm SUCH a retard I actually thought until you listed your list that there was a bad time for someone to get a delivery of wood. I couldn't come up with anything either! I was like, I guess if you already have enough wood? DER!!

  6. When the wind blows...

  7. Anonymous10/04/2005

    How about when your having your hair shampooed at your local salon!

  8. There's no such thing as an inappropriate boner. Any time, any place. Next week can we do "Top 10 Appropriate Erections?"

  9. I wish I was on the list...

    As in men get boners around me.

  10. Ok, these would be the worst places for a "solid hello" in my daily routine.

    1. While bench pressing.
    2. During a new client pitch.
    3. Visiting the in-laws for dinner.
    4. At the lunch table at work.
    5. Riding your bike.
    6. Bathroom of a bar.

  11. when a man is giving you a massage...a la George Costanza "it moved".

    or while at the gym in front of woman working out.

    when speaking at a public engagement.

  12. I need to get more lovely ladies to read my blog. Any suggestions?

  13. While making a sub @ subway (good thing we wear aprons)

  14. Anonymous10/05/2005

    How about at a job interview with a prominant company and the interviewer is male and elderly...and your pants happen to be a tad too tight and you get the job and the interviewer now won't stop winking at you?

  15. "Where's that muscley armed paper boy?"

  16. "you want a popsicle?"

  17. I was going to write a long comment on this, but instead I'm going to steal this and do an entire blog on it. Thanks for the inspiration, mate, I love writing about my hot spicy boners!

  18. How about after receiving a kiss from your grandmother.

  19. Ha ha ha! You just brightened up my day, very funny!

  20. At your wife's funeral.


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