Thursday, October 20, 2005

Mexican Anecdotes -- Part 2


I learned something new about myself and Mrs. Shife during our recent trip to Mexico. We have been together since 1997. We got engaged in 1999, and we got married in 2004. So that is 8 plus years, so you would think that I would know my lovely wife pretty good.
Wrong!
Mrs. Shife has secretly been keeping tabs on my drunkenness and has made a startling revelation. I guess I am not surprised because she did get a Psychology degree, and I think that was one of the reasons she was so attracted to me because I am a perfect case study since I am functioning retard.
Anyway, back to story.
So Mrs. Shife has been using her observational skills during my states of inebriation to come to the conclusion that her husband has a trigger word. The trigger word does not make me angry or make me kick my off shoes in a fit of joy, but it indicates that Mr. Shife will soon be on his way to Passed Out Town.
Drum roll please.
And the word is MIDGETS!!!!!
Whenever I begin talking about midgets or anything related to midgets it is almost certain that I will concluding my evening of fun and shenanigans very shortly. For reasons unbeknownst to me, when my brain wants to have a chit chat smorgasbord about the little people, I am going to be shutting down the party bus soon.
Maybe I just love those little bastards so much that I would prefer that they are last things I think about before I go nighty-night.
So if you happen to swing by my Halloween party or we are just bellying up to the bar someday, you have been warned. When Mr. Shife begins his diatribe about the welfare of midgets be prepared to call in some back-up because there will be a man down soon.

Power to the little people!




P.S. In my humble opinion, last night's episode of "Lost" sucked.

18 comments:

Fiona said...

Isn't there a law against hitching midgest up like horses to pull the plane?
So what does it mean when you talk about midgets in the office? What is imminent then?

mrshife said...

I think it means I am going to have an acid flashback and dance like Jennifer Beals in "Flashdance."

SugarHigh said...

he's a maniac, maniac, on the floor...
I also like Chris Farley's version of this dance in Tommy Boy.

Shife, you are one of the unrecorded wonders of this world. I only wish I had a trigger word.

P.S.- Lost was okay. There is definitely a lot of flashback nonsense going on.

Vince said...

Did you meet midgets in Mexico (Meximidgets?) or did they just come up in conversation? Please tell me you saw one!

P.S. I hate to admit it, but this season of Lost has almost turned me all the way off. Plus baseball is so much better. Go 'stros.

cher said...

you gotta love a midget with an afro. littel person, but BIG hair!!

Katina Cloud said...

Yeah did you by chance see a mexican midget?? I've seen a mexican mullet before.

I am really into LOST this season. That is the only show I watch faithfully.

Phats said...

Midgets rock! remember when they had dwarf bowling kick ass!

Nutty Nice Mullet comment thrown in there All business in the front, and the party in the back!

Max said...

Mr. Shife, I'm beginning to think we are the same person is slightly parallel universes.

Been with wife for eight years? Check.
Wife is a psych major? Check.
Blogs? Check.
Drinks? Lots (I assume)? Check.
Midgets are a trigger? Check.
Didn't like last nights LOST? Check.

What the hell man?

Design Goddess said...

So when you're passed out, do you dream about extremely tall people???

mrshife said...

Sorry no Mexican midgets, but I did see Mexican jumping beans and lots of Mexican moonshine.

Max, we might be brothers from another mother.

Design Goddess, sorry no dreams when this kid passes out, but I do giggle a lot.

coloradohurricane said...

I forgot to add midgets to my list of things I am scared of. Yeah, midgets kind of scare me.

LBseahag said...

I wish all my nights ended with a little midget....


have you been to this site? for when you really, i mean really, need little guy

nicole said...

I have an acquaintance who is truly, totally and absolutely obsessed with...okay, I wont use the "m" word...LITTLE PEOPLE.

We're talkin little people talk shows, little people documentaries, little people PORN. Please tell me you're not THIS far gone, Shife...? ;)

the duck said...

Here's a link you might enjoy:

Rent-A-Midget

Beo said...

Your are out of your goard mrshife. My trigger word would be football.

Lost was okay, I love the fact that they have Adebesie from Ozz in it now though. It'll turn out fine don't worry. It's only the 4th out of 24.

Plus, you must remember. I saw all the episodes of the first season for the first time, at the end of the first season. So, watching one a week is abnormal for me anyways.

Scottish Toodler said...

LOL!! I love these Mexico stories!...The only sport I care about is hockey, and alas, there are never midgets...Sometimes when I party too much I think things like "If lived back in the Southern days, I could have been a spy with midgets hidden in my skirts, I could have distracted the men while the midgets went and got whateverit was he needed (cash, secrets, etc)." This is why I don't party anymore... Unfortunately, no psych major has ever studied me, so I don't know what my trigger word is. Bummer.

Dirk the Feeble said...

I don't know anything about "Lost," are there midgets in it? Wait, it's got that one hobbit guy right? He's got to be pretty short if he was a hobbit.

ProfessorGQ said...

goofy picture...lol...I like your blog