I learned something new about myself and Mrs. Shife during our recent trip to Mexico. We have been together since 1997. We got engaged in 1999, and we got married in 2004. So that is 8 plus years, so you would think that I would know my lovely wife pretty good.
Mrs. Shife has secretly been keeping tabs on my drunkenness and has made a startling revelation. I guess I am not surprised because she did get a Psychology degree, and I think that was one of the reasons she was so attracted to me because I am a perfect case study since I am functioning retard.
Anyway, back to story.
So Mrs. Shife has been using her observational skills during my states of inebriation to come to the conclusion that her husband has a trigger word. The trigger word does not make me angry or make me kick my off shoes in a fit of joy, but it indicates that Mr. Shife will soon be on his way to Passed Out Town.
Drum roll please.
And the word is MIDGETS!!!!!
Whenever I begin talking about midgets or anything related to midgets it is almost certain that I will concluding my evening of fun and shenanigans very shortly. For reasons unbeknownst to me, when my brain wants to have a chit chat smorgasbord about the little people, I am going to be shutting down the party bus soon.
Maybe I just love those little bastards so much that I would prefer that they are last things I think about before I go nighty-night.
So if you happen to swing by my Halloween party or we are just bellying up to the bar someday, you have been warned. When Mr. Shife begins his diatribe about the welfare of midgets be prepared to call in some back-up because there will be a man down soon.
Power to the little people!
P.S. In my humble opinion, last night's episode of "Lost" sucked.