Tuesday, October 25, 2005

And The Winner Is ....


Dorna. She has seen 31 Stallone movies. I will be sending over the nude photos of Quincy as soon as I can. But, like T. Leach said, none of us are really losers, we are all winners.

And now back to more pressing matters, I will have limited computer access until Thursday so I have time for a quick post today and I will try to stop by all your blogs when I have the chance. So today's game is what would you do for a million dollars?

a) Your spouse's boss and his wife are meeting you at a fine restaurant for dinner. During the main course, would you take out a vibrator, slump back into your seat and begin to massage your groin area for one minute?

b) It is midnight and you are alone at Sea World in San Diego. In front of you is the shark exhibit which consists of an open pool which is 50 feet from one side to the other. All the lights are off, and the only illumination is what is provided by the half-moon in the sky above.
Would you jump into the pool and swim from one side to the other?

c) Would you spend the night on the embalming table with a corpse that had been killed in a horrible traffic accident?

d) You are on the second story of a building where there are three 50 foot banisters which run from the second floor to the first floor. All three banisters are greased. However, at the end of one, there is an exposed nail head protruding up approximately 1/4 of an inch.
Would you take off your clothes, put on a blindfold and slide down of the banisters, not knowing which banister contained the nail?

e) Would you attend your high school reunion knowing that every time you spoke you would be experiencing a continuous orgasm?


P.S. I am starting a new trend. Everyone plucks their eyebrows, so I am going to start plucking my eyelashes. Fuck eyebrows.

33 comments:

mrshife said...

It is a toss up between a and e, but I like my boss so I am going with the high school reunion.

T. Leach said...

I'm doing A right now.

Vince said...

E sounds money, sign me up.

SugarHigh said...

i was all about A until I saw E. it's a no brainer there

jamwall said...

nude photos of quincy, medical examiner?????

jack klugman???????????

mrshife said...

Sorry Jamwall, I only break out that Quincy for really special occasions.
The Quincy that will be nude is my fat basset hound.

totolehero said...

i think for a million$ i would anything that doesn't put my life in danger...
so A and E for sure and even worst (if you can think of any)

after i get the million, all these people (the boss, the wife or husband, the high school friends..) will crawl at my door..

so when do i get to do these ??

the duck said...

It's got to be E. Although that would get messy fairly quickly... I wonder how long I could actually keep speaking under those circumstances. The mind boggles.

SuperSpyGal said...

E - and if that could actually happen, I'd be planning High School reunions 3 or 4 times a week !!

Phats said...

I would go with E Like I care what those posers think of me anyway! Plus I love money. I am scared of fish or i'd taken the shark option

Max said...

I am deathly and completely afraid of sharks. So that one is right out. Anything that massages my groin is great, and adding a million dollars only sweetens the pot. The reunion thing would be perfect, just for the sheer hilarity of it.

"Sally Jenkins? Is that...oh God...oh God...unf...unf...OH GOD!...squeak!...you?

The Scarlett said...

I'm totally in for A & E. In fact, I've decided to call anything involving orgasm A&E.

totolehero said...

jamwall.. can i tell you how much i love your profile animated picture !!!???

I LOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE IT
THIS MUCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scottish Toodler said...

I didn't finish High School but I would pick that anyhow... A) is how I think I lost my last job, but I'm not sure...hehehe

Chairborne Stranger said...

Dude, you're funny> and screw eyebrows, they are useless. I'd go a or e, though c isn't really all that off base for me right now. Screw the other two.

cher said...

Am I honestly the ONLY one who would choose C? He's dead! What could happen? I'd probably just spoon him and sleep like a baby.

dorna! said...

"A", definitely "A". The others aren't an option; and it'd have to be at least 10 million and an extreme state of inebriation to get me to go to my high school reunion.

Andraste said...

Yep, gotta go with E. Everyone in my high school thought I was a weirdo anyway, so it couldn't hurt...

coloradohurricane said...

can i get 5 million for doing all of them ?

LBseahag said...

I want the embalming table night...

I have experienced with dead lays and beer googles...
and this one won't need duct tape on the mouth...

Sideshow said...

I would make an evening of it.

We (the corpse and I) would have dinner with my boss and his spouse. At dinner I would get myself off with a vibrator. After cleaning myself up with the table cloth, we would skip out on the check and drop in on my reunion. At the reunion I would read from the Bible until my shoes squished. To wrap up the evening I would take the corpse back to the morgue for a little stainless steel table tango.

Blonde said...

I would do the high school reunion thing out of all of them.

Eyelashes protect your eyes from damage. Eyebrows damage the eye of those stuck staring at a unibrow.

DaMasta said...

I'd do E without the million! Sounds like a hardy good time!

DaMasta said...

I'd do E without the million! Sounds like a hardy good time!

Atalanta said...

My eyes watered just thinking about someone plucking their eyelashes... gah!

And, like most other people, I'm not sure how E could really be such a bad thing.

Darius Torque said...

Matt....your a seriously twisted pervert (then again...it takes one to know one).

Probably the shark...depending whether it has been fed recently or not...cos we have a LOT of sharks down here and there pretty misunderstood fishy's

Oh and E, but only if I can gaze lovingly at my old (now 60 plus) English Teacher...man, she was hot!

Dirk the Feeble said...

I wouldn't do B or D, but I do the others on a regular basis (one right this very moment).

Design Goddess said...

I'd watch ALL of Stallone's movies back to back 10 times WITHOUT being able to make sarcastic remarks about them....or cry out of sheer torture.

angel, jr. said...

I'm am going to go with the high school reunion orgasm. I've never had multiple orgasms and I'm curious as to what it would feel like.
I'm terrified of sharks, pain, and dead mangled bodies.

Beo said...

I'd go with b. Just because the rush would be tremendous and I'd be able to laugh and look at the moon at the end.

See that, I'm a positive thinker. It keeps me alive. Until I'm not.

Hey, wanna hear something gross. I duct taped the back of my neck out of nowhere at work and started pulling all the little hairs off the back of my neck since I've had no one to do it for a while.

Steph said...

I want pics of you with no eyelashes!

auburn said...

A, C or E. No way in hell i'd be getting in any kind of water with even a baby shark...they are the stuff of my nightmares...

bekah said...

Well, at Sea World there's a safe bet that those sharks have already eaten, so why would they want me? I'd swim across.