Tuesday, September 20, 2005

White shirt contest


If you ever want to shake things up at the office there are many things you can do like spreading rumors or making out with the cleaning lady. But anyone can do that stuff so I have come up with a couple of new ideas that I think would be quite amusing. The first one really only applies to guys, sorry ladies, but you are more than welcome to try it. So if you work in a business professional environment wear a nice collared white dress shirt to work that is one size too small, kind of like the dude in the picture but like tighter. No big deal, right? But here is the fun part, do not wear a t-shirt underneath and also put a little Crisco or Vaseline on your nipples so you will have some super sweet grease stains on your radio dials all day at work. It will be even more amusing if you have the Chewbacca look going on. I tried to insert an image of a hairy man here but a Google search of those keywords brings up a lot of gay porn so I threw up a little bit inside of my mouth and had to quit that adventure.
Next, get a megaphone and hang out in one of the bathroom stalls at work. Just sit there and wait for an innocent victim to come in and just start yelling at them when they are doing their business. Or better yet wait until they are done and washing their hands and then 0ut of nowhere and completely unexpected they hear megaphone voice, "Why does your penis look so angry?" You can insert your own workplace banter but that was just my suggestion.

Also the season premiere of "Arrested Development" was fabulous, and tonight another one of my favorites has its premiere, "Nip/Tuck." And if there are any Cowboy fans out there -- ouch, it sucks to be you right now.

Christian: [in reference to the vandalizing of his car] I'm serious, I felt violated. The last time I felt like this was back in the early 90s when some girl shoved her finger up my butt with no warning.

11 comments:

Jon said...

The second Dilbert book, The Joy of Work: Dilbert's Guide to Finding Happiness at the Expense of Your Co-Workers is probably the best collection of true and proposed office pranks I've ever seen.

mrshife said...

I will have to look into that. I just think of stupid stuff sometimes and I just like to get feedback from it. Sometimes what I think is funny is not necessarily funny to others. Exhibit A: "Sorority Boys," which I find to be downright hilarious but others not so much.

Vince said...

that picture reminds me of michael douglas from "falling down." sweet.

Scarlett said...

Why, it sounds like it this contest would be more fun if women were involved, greasy nipples and all.

Mr. Chips said...

Nice advice. I got fired for this little prank suggestion of yours.

Thanks a lot.

coloradohurricane said...

I'm with Scarlett on this one.

I don't work in an office, but I think shaking things up in a restaurant has got to be more fun.

Steph said...

Don't all penises look angry? Or maybe it's just the ones that see me coming

T. Leach said...

I considered leaving a long, Kirk Bradford Myersian-like comment (see last post) (and every other post authored by said author), but, in the end, decided to just go with: nice.

Darius Torque said...

WTF is a 'chewbacca'????

aaaahhhhhhhhhh,,,,ggrrrr and how does it Han Solo Matt???

The mind boggles...

I love the classic's like the clingfilm / gladwrap (whatever you call it in the States) over the toilet bowl...got to love the splash effect...

mrshife said...

I just meant a guy with a lot of hair on his chest when I made a reference to Chewbacca. I didn't mean for you to get lost in translation. I didn't know what else to call them. I know gay men refer to them as bears but I didn't feel the urgency to drop a homo reference.

totolehero said...

would it be really bad if a girl did that ??