Friday, September 02, 2005

Recap of the 2005 season opener at the Shifley house

So I am running around the house like a one-eyed cat in a fish store waiting for the Idaho vs. Wazzu game to start.
I was pretty excited.
Wazzu wins the toss and elects to receive. It is a touchback. Sweet, our kicker finally learned how to kick it far.
1st and 10 from the 20 for the Cougs. It's a hand off and whooosh, he's gone 80 yards to the end zone. Touchdown Wazzu.
Crowd goes wild.
Matt looks for something to throw at the TV and a diatribe of expletives come flowing out of his mouth.
It went something like this, "Curse word, curse word, curse word, threaten Quincy my dog with rib shots, curse word, curse word."
OK, I calm down. I talk myself off the ledge. The team was all pumped up and excited and missed a few tackles so it's OK. We are only down 7. We can get that back easy.
Washington State kicks it off to Idaho. Our return guy brings it out and he is popped at the 15 and fumbles the ball. Wazzu recovers and a few plays later it is 14-0.
69 seconds have elapsed off the game clock and it is 14-0.
How about some deja vu. Matt looks for something to throw at the TV and a diatribe of expletives come flowing out of his mouth.
It went something like this, "Curse word, curse word, curse word, threaten Quincy my dog with rib shots, curse word, curse word."
Seriously I am jumping off the ledge now. No way I am coming back inside. It's over.
My wife, Sarah, plays the role of a suicide hotline operator and calmly talks Matt down but only after she lures him away with the nectar of the Gods, cold beer.
The game continues and Idaho actually starts to make a contest out of it and the final score is 38-26. Last year they beat us 49-8 and we didn't score a TD until the final minute of the game.
This year it is 24-19 towards the end of the 3rd quarter so the Vandals are making strides.
And I had a few too many cocktails as well but it is all good because I have a three-day weekend to recover.
I hope everyone stays safe and sound over the Labor Day and I will leave you with a thought that has been troubling me, what is the proper etiquette at a nude beach for a man if he becomes aroused?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is the proper ettiquette if a man becomes aroused in public, while fully clothed?

mrshife said...

I think it is stop, drop and roll. Oh wait that is for a fire.
You just hope that you don't get called to the chalkboard.

coloradohurricane said...

i used to get a big order from a nudist colony and would deliver it(yes i wore my full uniform there.) After going there a few times, I was comfortable enough to ask questions. Apparently, from what I gather from this place at least, if you have a hard-on and are new, they sort of expect that. But this place is unfortunately, not a very sexually charged place. You might as be in church-well sort of. And staring is taboo, so if you had a hard on, no one would say anything about it anyway.

Swanny said...

Your outa control mister! I'm pretty much the same way. I really needed preseason football so my dog gets reacclimated to my insanity. Watching one of the Bears games a couple weeks ago, I forgot how exciteable my pooch can be and after a monster hit I let out a huge roard. Well Meathead (my dog), didn't take kindly and lunged at me. Then after he calmed down and remembered last year he went and grabbed his little rubber football and decided I should play with him...

Scarlett said...

I don't know about the nude beach, but I've also been asked what is the etiquette if you're maturbating infront of a woman and she is uncomfortable. 1.Do you discuss this with her? 2. Do you stop, or do you move to another seat on the bus?

nicole said...

I don't think I can offer much in the way of a constructive response. I'm too busy LAUGHING!!!

coloradohurricane said...

God, what a crappy feeling it is to lose to FSU, I got at least 10 phones calls from FSU fans back home. Thank God I don't have to live in the same state with these guys anymore.

Oh yeah, here's a link to the bikini pic. Consider yourself warned in advance...

www.coloradohurricane.com/bikini.jpg

Robby said...

I believe the proper etiquette is to say, making sure that your words rhyme, "pard-on my hard-on."