Thursday, September 15, 2005

Just imagine if you will

I have got an itchy asshole and it is so itchy and uncomfortable that I can't even concentrate for more than a minute. So since my itchy asshole requires my complete attention this is all I have for you today. Thanks a lot itchy asshole.

OK, so here it is, pick someone one famous, dead or alive, that you would want to be trapped in an elevator with for 8 hours?
Please choose wisely.

19 comments:

mrshife said...

Yes I am answering my own question. I am such a flamer. I have been thinking about this quite awhile and I guess I would pick, drum roll please, Jon Stewart.

Anonymous said...

How about W? I would love to pick his brain for a few hours.

Jon said...

Easy. George Carlin. But if I couldn't have him, I'd love to hang out with my grandfather one more time.

Sethek said...

Hmm... Chris Rock, cause he's sucha funny comedian. :P

R said...

Jon Stewart is genius. I would like to pick George W. Bush.

Since we would be stuck there for 8 hours, I would pry open his mind questionning everything he has done to try and make some sense out of it all.

I have no don't there would only be one of us left standing by the end however...

Sethek said...

LoL thanks fer the comment, and dont worry you didnt sound like a greeting card.. contrary to most people i do like hearing the advice even though most times Im too stubborn to use it..

Vince said...

Good gravy, it's hard to pick just one...

Bill Monroe - and we would run through the canon of bluegrass standards.

Swanny said...

Joe Walsh for my alive person. Not sure if I'd want to be in an elavator for any length of time with a dead person. That would smell pretty raunchy...

LBseahag said...

I would like to have Ted Nugent shoot W, then give him to Emeril to cook for lunch.

I would have sex at lunch with Rose McGowan.

mrshife said...

I still remember that outfit she wore to some awards show when she was balling Marilyn Manson.

Nate said...

you mean this one?

http://www.evilpartygirls.com/archives/rose_mcgowan0091.jpg

You're welcome.

Nate said...

Hmm, that didn't work. How about this?

Rose

The Humanity Critic said...

Good post. Just passing through, cool blog by the way.

T. Leach said...

Someone, anyone, with food, drink, a deck of cards and an oxygen tank.

I'm a bit claustraphobic.

On second thought, that someone should also have a vagina.

coloradohurricane said...

I agree Jon Stewart is a good choice. I had thought about picking some dumb hot chick to be stuck in an elavator with (such as Britney Spears- although in her present state, she might not be up to it), but then I'd have to figure outn something to for the rest of the 7 hours and 45 minutes.

I would say Jesus, but he would probably mess things up by performing a miracle(fixing the elevator).

I think Bill Clinton would be fun to hang out with for eight hours, even if it was an elevator. I don't agree with him politically, but I would say of all the presidents (or even candidates), he'd be fun to go out and party with. If we had some weed, it'd be even better. I'd show him what he's missed all these years by not inhaling.

Kirk Bradford Myers said...

Since I already have god in my life at all times, and I already have what I consider to be a beautiful girlfriend who I am always with anyway...hmmm.

You know who I'd like to hang out with in an elevator for eight hours? Ed Wynne, of the band Ozric Tentacles. Great keyboardist, even better guitarist! Just me and him, with my keyboard rig and his key/guitar set-up, jamming randomly for eight hours in musically colorful spiraling bliss, taking the sonic journey to wherever the roads of our minds eyes lead us. Hell, yeah!

Sorry to hear about your itchy asshole, brother. but good news...they've invented some wonderful tools to take care of that itch permanently. They're called "water" and "soap". :D Try 'em out sometime, they work great! :)

Take care, and keep on bloggin' 'way. :)


--- Kirk Bradford Myers ---


"Remember that beautiful gorgeous women come in all shapes and sizes. Also remember that butt-ass ugly disgusting women come in all shapes and sizes, too!"

Darius Torque said...

Itchy asshole, how to cure:

1/ Do not scratch!! When you scratch aforesaid asshole, you break the skin and the small amount of serum that flows around said asshole is ACIDIC!! Hence, scratching the 'asshole' only makes it itch even more - FACT!!!

2/ Prepare a lotion/paste whatever to apply to 'asshole', the ungent must be alkaline. Suggest paste made from bicarbonate soda. Ungent neutralises acid serum.

3/ Wash aforesaid 'asshole' with gentle motion using soap and water. May one suggest 'babywipes' as they are impregnated with lotion for sore baby 'assholes'

4/ Apply cortozone steriod cream in small doses to heal 'asshole'

How did I come by this knowledge (Shife's getting worried here...hehehe). Because I caught FUCKING WORMS during my first year of teacher training THATS WHAT!!!

SCHOOLS ARE FUCKING UNHEALTHY FUCKING PLACES!!

Seriously Matt, give it a go, it works....I know (mutter mumble mutter)

Also, 8 hours in a lift???

Um, Seven of Nine Tertiary Adjunct of UniMatrix Zero....corrrrr...tits!!!!

Sydney said...

I don't think I'd want to be stuck in an elevator with a dead person. Regardless of whether or not they were famous.

How about just giving me plenty of food and water, all of my medications, and a laptop with some type of satellite internet access. I'd be fine. Maybe a pillow... Oh, and something to pee in. No cameras in there right?

totolehero said...

itchy asshole could be caused by worms....
go to the pharmacy.. they have medication you can take..
do it before it comes out of your hole...
eeeeek

how do i know this ???
well, one of my old roomate was complaining about the same thing... after a month or so, she woke me up and told me that there was this thing floating... ok.. i'll just stop right here...

jesus would be the coolest to hang out with... if not Peter, or Paul will do..
funny blog ;)