- First, thank you all for your concern regarding my itchy asshole. I appreciate the advice and I am glad to report that the itchies and my asshole are no longer friends.
- You always take a risk when you try out a new Chinese restaurant especially a Chinese buffet. But here is a clue that you won't be returning to this eating establishment, the moment the food touches your lips you crap your pants.
- I am going for the trifecta here when it comes to my assy region so bear with me. I have written before about the supplements that I am taking before on my blog and one of the side effects is a complete hiney meltdown. Lately things have been good so there haven't been any mad dashes to the toilet during my workout. But last night was a different story. I am on the treadmill running and rocking out to Green Day with Bob the Ipod when the volcano inside my ass decides to go active. The grumblings from the belly and the tidal wave of the cha chas heading directly for the Southern border. It's a jail break. We are going to have an eruption in 5, 4, 3, .... I override the asscano and clinch the cheeks together. It is like a scene from a heist movie when the security system becomes active and these huge ginormous walls come closing down to trap everything inside. I calmly excuse myself from the treadmill and head to the lavatroy, which is located in the men's locker room. As soon as I enter the room of lockers I am greeted by a naked 90-year-old man toweling off his cash and prizes. I am hysterically blinded for a brief moment as I have seen Skeletor's bucket of yuck. Yea, that's right I checked out Grandpa's package. I need to know what kind of situation I will be facing when I enter the golden years. Anyway, I make my way to the toilet and blast a portal to hell.
Yes it is time to take a new supplement.
- Finally, my beloved basset, Quincy, has been head butting my nuts lately. I don't know if he thinks they are a pinata or if he is playing a twisted version of human battleship with me, but he has scored two direct hits on my destroyer. And I can't really return the favor because his twins have been lost at sea for many years now.
Have a great weekend.
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.