I am growing increasingly annoyed with all these frickin' establishments that are putting out tip jars. The straw that broke the basset's back was this weekend when I was at Subway. Most of these kids get paid above minimum wage, unlike the guys and gals who actually need tips to make a living. So Johnny Slapass takes my order, makes a sandwich, and asks if I would like chips or soda with that. That's it and right at the counter is a cup with a message scrawled out by some 15-year-old who between bong hits took the time to write the prettiest little sign that said "Tips greatly appreciated." You know I would appreciate it if a nude Angelina Jolie would make my sandwich next time but it ain't gonna happen Sparky and neither is a fucking tip for you. It is not my fault you made a bad vocational choice, get over it or get a new damn job where you actually work for your tips. I am sorry you have to make a sandwich but that is what you signed up for Chief now start slinging the mayo and cut my bread. You know unless you shoot a rocket out of your ass and tap dance to "Enter Sandman" by Metallica while you are making my sandwich then you can pretty much forget about getting a tip from me jag off.
That's all, have a nice day.


  1. Well I don't know about that because I didn't give the guy a tip at Subway and I think he cursed me with explosive dirrahea.

  2. Anonymous8/10/2005

    Yeah he get's $6.00 or more an hour and you went home to sit on the porcelin bus for the rest of the night.

  3. You are back DucatiMike and as usual you are 100% correct.

  4. i actually manage a subway and i must say... this was one of the most f!ckin' funny posts i've seen on a blog in a long time. long before subway ever had a policy on "tip jars" i told my employees they would face severe punishment (like sticking their tongue to the hot oven door) if i caught them putting one out. i've never liked tip jars when i go out somewhere and i don't want them in my store. actually subway corporate forbids the use of tipjars, so you can call the 1-800 number on the napkin if you see one.

    if a customer gives an employee an unsolicited tip, that i have no problem with. i tell the employees- if you want tips-then give really good service and you might (and probably will) get some without having to resort to begging.

    tap dancing to "enter sandman" while making a sub... i might have to try that sometime, but shooting rockets outa my arse... you ask for a little too much...


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