Friday, August 05, 2005

Sweet Lincoln's mullet!

There was a time, a time before cable. When the local anchorman reigned supreme. When people believed everything they heard on TV. This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man then the rest. His name was Ron Burgundy. He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr and suits so fine they made Sinatra look like a hobo. In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls.

Today I bring you the words and wisdom of "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy."

  • "You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered in hair."
  • "I'm going to punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot, right to the babymaker."
  • "Ooooh, it's a formidable scent. Stings the nostrils.""In a good way, right?""Brian, I'm gonna be quite honest with you -- that smells like pure gasoline."
  • "I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely ... breathtaking ... heinie. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it."
  • "Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Actually, I'm not even mad -- that's amazing! How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay."
  • "I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you."
  • "I'm Ron Burgundy, go fuck yourself, San Diego."
  • "The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show... [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods."
  • "Knights of Columbus, that hurt! "
  • "I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight. "

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