Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I apologize for the graphic nature of this blog but hey this is my life and shit happens.
So I am taking this new supplement called NO-XPLODE. It is nitrous oxide and it is suppose to pump you up. Well it is working but it is also giving my colon a work out as well. You are suppose to take it on an empty stomach and wait about 30 minutes before you start pumping iron. So that is what I do and about halfway through my workout my stomach starts rumbling and I send out a fart balloon (similar to a weather balloon so you can determine atmospheric conditions) to see how toxic my gas is. Well the fart balloon produces no adverse effects so I continue to work out and faberge (that's French for fart. OK, it is not but I like the way it sounds.) Everything is going good until the farts decide they want to solidify their presence if you know what I mean. It just hit me faster than a basset hound through Chinatown, diarrhea cha-cha-cha. And the gym is not the best place for this to happen because you are grunting anyway so lifting weights and squeezing cheese are not good dance partners. So I clinched my cheeks and prevented another sharting incident. I made it to the bathroom and everything went smoothly.
But it got me thinking .... what are the worst places to get hit with a sudden, crippling case of diarrhea? Like I said the gym is pretty bad but I believe an orgy would be even worse. Also the nude beach would not be an agreeable situation.
I am interested in hearing other people's suggestions.