Wednesday, August 24, 2005

"Cathouse"

So I have watched this show a few times on HBO, "Cathouse: The Series." It is a behind-the-scenes look at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada. And I think I have seen more behinds that I care to but that is besides the point.
A few observations from this truly trashy show that further indicates to me that I will watch almost anything on TV. From what I can gather it costs at least $1,000 to spend an hour with one of these gals, and I have heard some of them mention $3,000 per hour. I guess it depends on how many miles you got on the odometer. And is an aging escort who gets a boob job the equivalent of someone turning back the miles on a car's odometer. Just a random thought.
Anyway you have to shell out some cash to play with these ladies. And let's assume I was a single man who had some disposable cash and really wanted to get laid. Well from what I have seen none of these ladies are worth that price of admission to the poonanny palace. Vaseline, a bottle of Jack Daniels and a porno and you will wake in the morning thinking you screwed everyone in the Playboy Mansion. I mean that is a lot of money for an hour's worth of work, and that leads me to my other point. The guys that they show with the ladies appear to be the second coming, pun completely unintended, of Ron Jeremy. Not because they have huge weiners but because they are like marathon humpers. These dudes are going balls to the wall for like an hour straight and unless they took some viagra, speed, and super glued their penis shut, these are not your typical guys. And if I did last that long I would need a frickin' break. I have sent my underpants navy out into battle before and they have always come back victorious and they sure as shit didn't need an hour.
So I admit to the world today that I can't last 60 minutes in bed. I may take some heat for this one but if I am the only brave enought to admit it then so be it, but I know I have a satisfied customer at home and that is all that matters. She is going to be mad at me for that one.
My point is where are all the average dudes that do their business and still have 45 minutes left on the clock. What do they get? Is it once and you are done? Do they cuddle?
I think you are better off with the Vaseline and booze plan.
But remember what God does everytime you masterbate?

2 comments:

Swanny said...

When I was married, I used the vaseline and bottle of Jack even more.

Well, off to kill some kittens!

You have some great stuff here Matt, keep it up...

Darius Torque said...

Shifey!!!!!!

Since I have been with 'she who must be obey'd' fro more 'n 12 years.
The amount of kittens i've killed have mutated to form new life!!

dARIUS