3/5/26

 Thought of the day

Would you like to solve the case of the missing croissants? 
Here are your clues: 

Mrs. Shife returned from work to discover a ghastly scene.
The Costco plastic container that had held 28 butter croissants looked like it had gone through a car wash, except that instead of water, it had been cleaned by the tongues of two professional carb-loaders.

The Evidence:

• Exhibit A: Before-and-after photos of the croissant container. Now, all that is left is one lonely, traumatized survivor. Based on the nutrition label, each croissant is 300 calories. If there were 28 in the pack and they ate 27, that is a collective 8,100 calories.

• Exhibit B: Lucy on the couch. A basset is a low-rider, but Lucy has managed to achieve a level of mid-section gravitational pull that defies physics. That belly hanging off the couch isn't just a food baby; it’s a full-on pastry nursery.

Mrs. Shife found the accused culprit on the couch, and let’s just say that when your dog’s belly has its own zip code and is currently hanging off the sofa like a sack of flour, a 'not guilty' plea isn't going to hold up in court. 

• The Ruling: The court finds the defendant, Lucy the basset, guilty of first-degree pastry larceny.
  
  
• The Sentence: Treadmill time. To burn off 8,100 calories, a dog of Lucy's size will need to walk approximately 162 miles.

P.S. Lucy also gave herself away by going into Hayden's room, where she had stashed two croissants in the bed. 

P.S.S. While Ms. Frizzle has been suspiciously quiet about the whole event, it is clear that the only way the croissants could have been pulled down from the counter is if she acted as the muscle to help Lucy. I need to be on my guard, as it looks like these two have formed a highly effective (and highly caloric) criminal syndicate.

Meme dump

I will persevere.
I will keep moving forward.
I will be the stream.