Thursday, March 31, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 31

Well, well, well, we have made it to the end, but I believe if it wasn't for my phone and my cute kiddos I would of had a hard time cranking out content. And of course, I'm going to end it with another video.
I think you will like this one.
It's just Kyle enjoying being Kyle on his special day.




He had a good day.
Thanks to everyone for stopping by this month.
It actually felt pretty good blogging every day.
It's a good thing to step outside of our comfort zone.
Take care.
Talk to you next week.




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 30

I had no plans on being overly sentimental about Kyle turning 7 tomorrow even though yesterday's post would strongly disagree with those words. However, I was on Facebook this evening, which I have basically given up but I had to check to see if a friend was able to help out with a request and FB is the only way we communicate. Well I guess that's not true because I suppose I could write her a letter, but you get my point. Anyway I had one of those memory notifications and this is what it was:



Sweet Lincoln's mullet, my Bunga has grown up. Time flies when you are Kyle's daddy.
Without a doubt, one of the greatest days of my life was becoming a father.
His father.
It hasn't been easy, and there are a shit load of things I wished I would have handled differently with him, but no matter what, I will be there for him and I'm going to be in that kid's life until my time on Earth is done. I am going to be the man that my biological father decided he didn't want to be.
More details here if you are inclined.
It's where my "I will be the stream" line was born too.
My BD might have of had his problems, and I could call him names and get pissed off.
But the man did teach me one very valuable lesson:
I am going to be the man that he didn't want to be.
Even more so, the dad he didn't want to be.

Well there goes the plans for being sentimental. It's raining on my face again.
Thanks for stopping by. I will talk to you tomorrow.





I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.





Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 29

Today, tomorrow and Thursday.
Then the madness is over.
It was a lot easier blogging while I was on vacation.
It's almost appalling that employers expect you to work when you are at work.
And yes that last sentence was sponsored by the letter S, as in S for sarcasm.
I enjoy my job, I'm grateful for my job, but I just have been busy trying to catch up that I feel like that three-legged cat trying to bury his turd on that frozen pond.
I did an image search for something that could visually explain how busy a three-legged cat might be burying that turd and I ran across this:


I'm not the smartest man on the block, but I'm thinking a one-legged cat isn't going to do much of anything and funny probably wouldn't be the first emotion I felt. Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but I do believe a one-legged animal would not be long for this world. Anyway, just thought it was interesting, then rather amusing as it was the Redneck Saying Of The Day.
I think the Redneck needs a fact checker.
Okay.
Enough about me.
I can be really selfish at times.
How are you doing?
I'm good. Thanks for asking.
I'm busy too, but I think I have probably bored you to death with that fact this week.
Anything new and exciting in your world?
Well let's hear about it.
I have some news.
We are gearing up for life with a 7-year-old.
Two more sleeps and my little man will be 7.
Almost got a little emotional typing that sentence.
He is growing up way too fast.
Isn't that something you have to say as a parent?
I just love his smile and zest for life, and I'm glad to be his daddy.


Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream



Monday, March 28, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 28

Well that was a Monday.


Holy cannoli.
I knew taking a week off was going to make the first Monday back in the office a little rough, and it was. But I would do it all over again because I got to spend lots of quality time with Mrs. Shife, Kyle Bunga and this little darling I like to call Hayden Belle.

 P.S. And Kyle correctly pointed out at the end of the video that we were going north, which we did ever so briefly, but he was right.

P.S.S. I apologize for not making the blogging rounds recently. I will try and stop by tomorrow.

Talk to you later. Thanks for visiting.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 27


  • Happy anniversary to my little sister as she and her husband celebrated their 19th today, which coincidentally also happens to be the day that me and Mrs. Shife got engaged. It was a pretty good day.
  • It was weird setting my alarm for tomorrow morning. I kind of enjoyed getting up when I felt like it, which was when the kids decided to get up. Actually, my lovely wife let me sleep in quite a bit because of my bolt implant and because she's awesome. 
  • I have kept something called a "Rookie Dad Journal" since Kyle was born, and it's a Word doc that's up to 125 pages. It's a just a little highlight from every day but I just don't know how much longer I want to keep it up as we are approaching 7 years. I know first world problems, right? Any suggestions from my wonderful blogging buddies? 
  • Any idea on who might have been tired of getting their picture taken during spring break?

  • Happy Easter!! Hope you had a wonderful day. Talk to you tomorrow.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 




Saturday, March 26, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 26



Hello there.
We made it back home today from spring break in California, and someone was excited to see us.
I was being vague about our whereabouts because I didn't want to advertise that the only person at our home was a husky hound. I was afraid someone might take the opportunity to fleece me of my unique collection.


I'm a big fan of unicorns and dolphins, and an even huger fan of unicorns and dolphins getting it on. Did you believe me for a moment? 
I hope not.
I know I am weird, but unicorns and dolphins in the heat of the moment is not my thing. 

Anyway, Tanklin wasn't alone as we had someone watching him while we were gone, but I still don't want people to know that. There are weirdos on the Internet. I believe the above picture of the unicorn and dolphin proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt. The only thing missing in the picture is an ambushed paddington. 


Thanks for stopping by. Take care. Talk to you tomorrow.




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.  




Friday, March 25, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 25

All good things must come to an end.
But we sure have enjoyed our spring break.





Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.






I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 24


  • Recommendation of the week: Winning the Powerball. I'm really enjoying the week off with Mrs. Shife and the kiddos, and I think winning a sizable amount of money would really let me enjoy a lot more time off. =)
  • Quote of the the week: What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders. ― Jerry Seinfeld
  • Second quote of the week: Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” ― Steve Jobs
  • I know the second is a little morbid, and as far as I know, I will not be dead soon. I just think about my own mortality a little more now that I'm older and it makes decision-making a lot easier for me when it comes to what really matters to me and my life.
  • Hard to believe this guy passed away: Garry Shandling, star of "The Larry Sanders Show." It is easily one of my top 10 favorite comedies. And from what I'm reading online, Mr. Shandling was just as generous as he was funny. 
  • Hard to believe fact of the week: This dude is going to be 7 next week. 



Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 23

Let's talk about "Things That Sort Of Keep Me Up At Night If I Devoted Time & Energy To It."
It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but "Things That Keep Me Up At Night" is exactly truthful and I really don't want to sully our blogging relationship with lies.
TTSOKMUANIIDT&DTI is a horrible acronym also.
And that's why it's "Things That Sort Keep Me Up At Night If I Devoted Time & Energy To It."
  • Large police officers. And by large I don't mean they have 24-inch biceps more like a 54-inch gut. How do they catch people in a foot pursuit? 
  • If a vampire bites a zombie, does the zombie become a vampire or the vampire a zombie? 
  • If the same person holds two consecutive doors for you, is it common courtesy to say thank you twice? This feels like a question for my Canadian users because I think Canadians would say yes and Americans would say it once. Let me know Mr. E. Rosewater. 
  • What if my alarm clock doesn't go off in the morning? Wait ... did I set my alarm clock? Wait ... I'm already up because I'm thinking about things that sort of keep me up at night if I devoted time & energy to it. I guess I can just set my alarm clock. 
  • This picture because I wish I would have thought of it before today. 

  • The obsession with rats and their asses. How did the phrase "I don't give a rat's ass" become common among us Americans. Or is this just a regional thing like the Northwest? 
  • When will I get the chance to tell someone that I ate an entire bowl of alphabet soup and I can crap out a smarter statement than what they just said? 
  • Will you laugh if told you that someone asked me if I fell, and I said, "No, I just attacked the floor."? 
  • How many new friends I could make if I texted random numbers at night and said, "You should really clean under your bed, it's filthy down here. P.S. I love you."?

Thanks for stopping by. I will talk to you tomorrow.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 






Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 22

I was motivated earlier this year to correct a bad habit I had gotten into when it came to writing and talking. I used the word "so" a lot in emails, and discovered that I used it even more when I talked to folks. So (come on I had to do it) my goal has to do eliminate it in electronic and actual conversations, and it hasn't been going well.
I didn't want to be Bill Lumbergh.
Anyway, I was thinking about you, my wonderful blogging friends, is there anything that you want to improve with your grammar or do you have a grammar pet peeve? One of my biggest pet peeves is when people call something a first annual event. If it hasn't happened yet, then it is a a premier or inaugural event.
Lay it on me, people. Tell me what you what drives you nuts.




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Monday, March 21, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 21

It's Hayden's world and we are just living in it.




A little background info as I was playing a game of Sequence For Kids - a linky here if you want more details about the game - with Hayden.
And that noise you hear in the background - if you can hear it over Hayden - is Tank chewing on a bone. She's keep me entertained.
Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.






I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 20

Whew.
I am spent.
We took advantage of the beautiful weather today and got some yard work done.
I probably over did it considering I just head surgery on my head Friday, but it was a welcome distraction from thinking about the fact that someone drilled a hole in my head.
Speaking of that, I forgot to mention that I when I checked in for my surgery I told the receptionist "I hear this is the place to come if you need another hole in your head."
After all these years, the phrase "I need that like I need another hole in my head" was applicable.



Not much else of substance to report. I still feel like I got hit on side of the head with the baseball bat, but it's going to be one of those things that isn't going to matter a year from now. I think someone mentioned that at least I hd painkillers, but it turns most of them are norco based and guess who is allergic to norcos.




It's a thing and I'll get through it. Plus, I have these two little people to keep me entertained and not worry about the pain. 


I just love the look Hayden is giving her big brother.
Take care. Talk to you tomorrow.






I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 






Saturday, March 19, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 19

Kyle's on spring break and he's ready to hit the beach.




We got up to the mid-60s here in Boise today, and it was nice.
Not nice enough to pop off my shirt like my 6-year-old son did, but when you are 6 you kind of do whatever feels right.
I don't know if you can tell but he's saying "I'm ready for Caleefornia!" as he's walking across his slack line. We were supposed to leave today, but with my surgery, our plans got postponed.
We will be going soon.
And I hope I survive.
I plan on returning back home as close to normal as possible.
But spending 20 hours in the car with the kiddos might turn me into a different man.
Wish me luck.



In case you are wondering, I'm doing fine. but I'm not going to lie about being in a little bit of pain. Who knew drilling a hole in your skull would hurt? 
Anyway, I'm hanging in there. 



Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.'




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 


Friday, March 18, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 18


Yes, I have.
I should have done the surgery much sooner.
It took about 30 minutes, and I have no complaints yet.
It was a little weird hearing someone drill a hole into your head, but other than that, the surgery was a complete success.
I get the stitches out next week.
I follow-up with the doctor once a month for the next two months.
Then in three months, I should get the processor to give me perfect hearing in my left ear.
In this day and age of instant gratification, it's going to be hard to wait but I think it will be totally worth it.


Before and After




The pink pad is for protection and I just need to keep it on until the stitches come out next week. 

I apologize for not visiting your blogs today, but I'm tired and a little sore right now. I will stop by tomorrow, and I appreciate all your kind words regarding my surgery.
Take care. Talk soon.



I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 17

I'm a big fan of St. Patrick's Day for obvious reasons, but as some of you may know, I think the best reason is that it's also my lovely wife's birthday.
Today was a milestone birthday for as she turned 18 with 22 years of experience.
The big 4-0.
I wanted to do something special for her because she's my wife and because she's amazing.
And because I also did something special for her when she turned 30.
All the details are here in case you are wondering about her 30th, http://www.mrshife.com/2006/03/surprise-surprise.html, but if you want the Cliffs Note version here you go: I was able to have all of our families show up in town to surprise on her special day.
I knew that wasn't possibility for her 40th.
But about 10 days before her birthday I came up with the idea.
I reached out to family, friends, coworkers and a guy from Jamaica (seriously I paid a Rastafarian 5 bucks on fiverr.com to wish her a happy birthday), and everyone came through big time.
Coincidentally I got 40 videos for her 40th.
Pretty cool, huh?
Below is the video she got from my new best Jamaican buddy.
Good luck trying to understand.
It took me about 4 views.
And if you are savvy enough you can follow the bread crumbs to watch the other videos people made for the lovely Mrs. Shife.



I love that lady. She is my everything and I'm grateful I get to spend the rest of my life with her.

Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow .... maybe.
I plan on posting something, but tomorrow is the surgery and I'm not sure how I will be feeling because this is the first time I have ever had a hole drilled into my skill.
I will post something. It might just be a picture of the kiddos, but I'm going to finish March Madness.


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.


Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 16

Oh the choices we make when we don't get enough sleep.
I was up until 2 in the morning.

Why?
By a stroke of good fortune a friend of mine ran into someone who runs a foundation that gives grants to people who have sight and hearing problems.
My friend told the guy about my situation.
The head of foundation called me and told me that he thought they could possibly help out with some of the costs of my ear surgery.
Awesome, right?
Then he mentioned that the deadline was March 15 to get in all of the paperwork.
March 15 I say to myself.
OK. No problem I say to myself.
Then I drop some fruit in my looms as I realize it was March 15.
Any guesses what I was doing until midnight last night?
I was able to get everything in on time, but I was kinda wired after it was all said and done and had a hard time falling asleep right away.
Then I am up at 6:20 to get ready for work which made today a bit of an adventure with the lack of you know what .
Case in point.
I had to run to the mall to pick up some St. Patrick's Day socks for Sarah. I found some at Spencer Gifts, which is a novelty store but a lot of their items run a little on the adult side.
I was checking out and mentioned to the guy how glad I was to find socks because I had been to several stores with no luck, and that my wife really wanted some shamrock socks with leprachauns because the kids at the pediatric clinic she worked with would enjoy seeing them on St. Patrick's Day.

The Spencer guy gave me a strange look and asked me if I was sure if I wanted these socks.
I assured him yes because they had shamrocks and leprechauns as requested by Mrs. Shife.
The Spencer guy again asked me if I was sure these socks would fly at a pediatric clinic.
I again assured me him that it was cool.
I don't know why he kept nagging me on it but I am grateful he did.
Maybe because I was wearing my "I'm An Idiot" shirt.


He then told me to take one more look at the socks and then he would let it go.
And I did.
The fog was lifted, and I saw the light.
I told the Spencer guy that he was my new best friend and an absolute life saver.
Turns out the socks did indeed have shamrock and leprechauns, but I really, really, I mean really didn't look close enough.


Turns out the leprechauns were nothing but mammals doing it like they do it on The Discovery Channel.
I need to get some sleep.



Thanks for stopping by. I will talk to you tomorrow.




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.




Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 15

Are you familiar with the Sister Hazel song "All For You"?
Well here's the video if you are not.
See you in 4 minutes and 4 seconds or possibly sooner if you think the song is bad.
I like it but then again I have been told that I ain't got the good sense God gave a rock.
I'm all catawampus after looking up idioms yesterday.



When I first started dating Mrs. Shife this was the song that made me think of her.
I don't know if she ever liked it as much I did, but I thought it was our "first" song.
Officially, we have two songs.
"I Cross My Heart" by George Strait was the song that we danced to when I proposed to her, and "Remember When" by Alan Jackson was our wedding song.
If you ever what to see it rain on my face just watch me listen to that song.
Holy cannoli, Alan Jackson gets me on that one.


I have gotten way off task here.
The whole point of this post was to talk about the Sister Hazel song and how my mind works.
Here are some of the lyrics:

Finally I figured out
But it took a long, long time
But now there's a turnabout
Maybe 'cause I'm trying
There's been times, I'm so confused
All my roads, They lead to you
I just can't turn and walk away
It's hard to say what it is I see in you
Wonder if I'll always be with you
But words can't say, And I can't do
Enough to prove,

It's all for you

Specifically how my mind works with this line: It's hard to say what it is I see in you

A rational person would think it's hard for me to say what I see in you because you have a lot of amazing qualities.
However, in my irrational brain, I think it's hard for me to say what I see in you because I'm having a hard time coming up with something.

Thank you Catholic guilt. Always seeing the glass half empty.

I'm working on being more positive, but this is something I have wanted to share for a long time to illustrate how whacko my brain can be sometimes.



That's all.
Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow.


P.S. I remembered another favorite saying of mine after all that idiom research that I also wanted to share and end today's post on something funny: Whatever you do always give 100%, unless you're donating blood

I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.






Monday, March 14, 2016

Mr. Shife's March Madness 2016 - Day 14

It's going to be a busy week.
How busy, you ask?
I don't think I will end up going nuts like Charlie from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"


or will be quite as busy as a one-armed bus driver with crabs but we got some stuff happening.
Besides the regular hustle and bustle of a normal week at the Shifley hacienda, we also have a birthday to celebrate on Thursday and I have my ear surgery on Friday.
More details on those events later.
But this got me to thinking.
Do you enjoy idioms?
I do.
The one I used up top about the bus driver is one of my favorites about being busy.
Do you have one?
You can be as busy as a bee or a busy beaver, but I need something a little more vulgar.
There's busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
I have also heard being busier than a a three-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.
Oh you would like some more.
Okie dokie.
I’m busier than a one-armed man hanging wall paper.
I’m busier than a one-legged grass hopper in a jumping contest.
I’m busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.
I’m busier than a gopher on a golf course.
I’m busier than mustard trying to ketchup.
I’m busier than a centipede at a toe counting contest.
I’m busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.
I’m busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony.
I’m busier than a cobra at a mongoose convention.

I’m busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

That's all folks.
Thanks for stopping by. Talk to you tomorrow. 




I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.