Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Random Acts Of Shifeness - Thanksgiving Version


  • First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Hope you have a wonderful day.
  • Favorite Thanksgiving food: Pumpkin pie and stuffing.
  • Kyle's favorite Thanksgiving food: Well according to the cookbook he made in kindergarten it's green beans and he said this is how they are made, "Crack eggs in a bowl then put flour and sugar in - no green beans needed because it just tastes like green beans - put it in the oven, cook for 8-10 minutes." I'm not sure if Kyle is entirely sure what green beans are. 
  • Favorite Thanksgiving trip: Going to Reno with Mrs. Shife to do some skiing in 2006. No kids, no curfews and a long weekend in the biggest little city in the world. Reno didn't get enough snow so we had to find other ways to entertain ourselves and we had a blast.
  • Favorite Thanksgiving memory: Bringing Little Miss Hayden home. She was born on a Monday, and we brought her home Tuesday, which was two days before the turkey extravaganza.
  • Favorite movie with a Thanksgiving theme: "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." 
  • Finally a Thanksgiving gift - well at least I hope you think it's a gift - to you. If you are interested in my book but haven't got around to buying it, well I have a deal for you. It's FREE to download on Amazon until Friday so get over there. Here's the LINK


I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream. 

Friday, November 21, 2014

Happy Birthday Hayden

A few photos from her big day as my little baby doll is now 3. She had a good day and I think the highlight for me was when we were picking up Kyle from school and she told me, "She wanted to wait to eat her cake until Kyle was ready because he was her best friend." Some days I feel like Mrs. Shife might be doing alright at this parenting game.








I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Code Brown

Are you familiar with the term "code brown"?
It basically means you are about to shit yourself, which is not a good thing unless you are 9-months-old and sporting some Huggies.
I recently had a code brown moment.
I was looking at the browser history on my computer because I was trying to remember a site I visited that had some birthday present ideas for a 3-year-old girl (yes, believe it or not, Hayden turns 3 in 7 days. Another code brown moment, huh?)
As I am perusing the sites that I frequented, I start to see some highly unusual activity.
There's babycenter.com and the 10 best foods for pregnancy.
WTF?
There's whattoexpect.com and the best foods to eat while pregnant.
FML!
There's parents.com and what to eat when you are expecting.
OMG!
The only other person to use my computer is …
Mrs. Shife.
Holy crap.
Is she?
No way.
I got fixed.
I'm sterile.
I'm like a Christmas tree.
I only have ornamental balls.
I mean I guess there's a chance that my team could still score a touchdown.
A small chance.
Like one out of a million.
So you're telling me there's a chance.
My boys are ALIVE!
I take a moment to give myself a high-five.
Then I realize this isn't a good thing.
We are going to need a new house.
A new car.
A new attitude.
A new vasectomy.
For the love of husky hounds, what the frick is going on?
We can't have another baby.
After going through all of the doomsday scenarios, I call Mrs. Shife to see if there's anything new she would like to discuss with me.
She says she might want to try out a new yoga class this weekend.
Anything else I say.
Nope she says.
I then proceed to tell her what I discovered on my computer and that I filled up my undies with fecal matter because I don't think I can handle another kid.
Silence.
Nothing on the other end of the line from Mrs. Shife.
I'm not a smart man but my relationship translator is telling me that this is no bueno.
More silence.
I'm about to fill up my pants again.
Then laughter.
Lots of laughter.
Turns out Mrs. Shife was looking up information for a good friend of hers who just found out she was pregnant.
Being the compassionate, wonderful woman that she is, Mrs. Shife decided not to torture me because she could have made me twist in the wind for as long as wanted.
Thank you Mrs. Shife for having mercy on me.
And thank you Dr. Hodges for making sure that I'm shooting blanks.


We had a snow day today in Boise Idaho. Almost 8 inches. The kiddos were pretty excited. 





I will persevere. I will keep moving forward. I will be the stream.