Saturday, April 24, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 24


Sweet Lincoln's Mullet ... happy birthday to me. It is officially 12:01 am on Saturday, April 24. I am about to watch "The Big Lebowski" and have a few celebratory beers. The big day is finally here and I am still me. I do have an uncontrollable urge to yank my pants up to my chest but other than that I feel great.

I just want to thank everyone who participated in my countdown to 40. All your comments and emails were very much appreciated. So after the movie I will get some sleep and then prepare myself for Shife Fest. I will be spending the day with family and friends, sharing laughs, memories, and just hoping to have an awesome day. Thanks again and talk to you soon.


The Dude:
Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 23

My last day as a 39-year-old dude, and looking back at everything it has been a pretty good ride so far. My Mom kind of imprinted upon me not to have any regrets, and I can't say I don't have any but they are not ones that keep me up at night. I might wish that I had children sooner or made that Motley Crue concert in high school, but like I said I am not losing sleep over that. The regrets I am talking about are ones like going to film school or following your heart. Those were my choices after graduating college: Film school in Nashville or listening to my gut and seeing where a relationship might take me. Well I heard my gut loud and clear, and it has taken me on my current journey. I thought that Mrs. Shife was pretty special and she was worth sticking around for and they rest they say is history. What would have happened if I went to film school? Who knows, but I don't think about it because I made the right decision. I chose the love of my life and so far, so good.

So turning 40, am I where I thought I would be? Yes and no. Married with a child and a fat basset? Yes. Did I think I would be a stay-at-home Dad? No. But that is why life is unexpected and full of twist and turns you don't see coming. Getting laid off before Baby Shife was born was hard to deal with because I never experienced that before and I felt like a failure, but it ultimately turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Mrs. Shife and I looked at the scenarios and realized me staying at home with our boy was a pretty good option. It definitely took some adjusting getting used to my new "career" but in the long run I know we made the right decision. Baby Shife's happiness and well-being are always the most important things and I can wait a few more years before I re-enter the land of cubicles, redundant meetings, and soul-sucking commutes. Plus my boss is really, really cool.


Thursday, April 22, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 22

I am getting a little excited and nervous about Saturday. Nervous because I am not sure what to expect and excited because I am not sure what to expect. It is like I am going to lose my virginity all over again. I better not get into that today because that experience deserves a whole blog post. Let's just say you never forget your first time but sometimes you wish you could. Anyway I was thinking today that after almost 40 years on the third rock from the Sun that I might have some decent knowledge to pass on to people, and I guess I can share a few things based on my 40 years of sucking oxygen.
  1. Never, ever take anything for granted. And unfortunately it seems like you always have to learn this lesson the hard way.
  2. Every once in awhile just take a moment to look up in the sky and all around you to really appreciate the world we live in.
  3. Always know at least one good joke.
  4. Take a chance every now and then. Have a little fun. Let your hair down. Life is short and no one gets out alive.
  5. The most valuable thing to have is a good reputation, and it’s neither hard nor expensive to acquire one: Be fair. Be honest. Be trustworthy. Be generous. Respect others.
  6. Don't go looking for love because it will always find you when you least expect it.
  7. Be true to yourself.
  8. Having good manners and being polite never goes out of style.
  9. Exercise does not take time. Exercise creates time.
  10. Promptness shows respect.
  11. Keeping perspective is the greatest key to happiness. From a distance, even a bumpy road looks smooth.
  12. Keep an open mind and an open heart.
  13. It’s never a shame when you admit you don’t know something, and often a shame when you assume that you do.
  14. Anyone who judges you by the kind of car you drive or shoes you wear isn’t someone worth impressing.
  15. Great parents can have rotten kids and rotten parents can have great kids. But even though biology plays a huge role in destiny, that’s no excuse to give up or stop trying.
  16. Physical attraction is nice, but shared values and a shared sense of humor are the real keys to lasting love.
  17. When you mess up, ’fess up. It’s the fastest way, if there is one, to forgiveness.
  18. If you make a promise to do something, do it.
  19. Your education isn’t complete until you’ve learned to take a hint.
  20. Whatever your passion, pursue it as though your days were numbered. Because they are.
  21. Always stay faithful to your teams and your significant other. If you are not ready to commit, then don't, but once you make the leap then stick to it.

    Well that is all for today folks. I will talk to you tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 21

Everything you wanted to know about the number 40 and more. 40 is actually my favorite number and it has been for about 12 years. Ever since Pat Tillman got drafted in 1998 by my favorite football team and donned #40 I have been a fan. Pat is far and away my favorite football player and he is an even better human being. A lot has been written about him after he decided to pass on a lucrative NFL contract, join the military, and tragically die in Afghanistan in 2004. I always will admire Pat because of his spirit — willing to sacrifice personal glory and comfort for what he saw was a greater good. Anyway here are some tidbits about my favorite number:
  • To understand a people, you must live among them for 40 days. ~Arabic proverb
  • The atomic number of zirconium.
  • Negative forty is the temperature at which the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales correspond; that is, −40°F = −40°C. It is referred to as either "minus forty" or "forty below".
  • In the saying "Life begins at forty"
  • In the expression "forty winks", meaning a short sleep
  • A song by Dave Matthews Band
  • The number of years of marriage as the ruby wedding anniversary
  • The code for direct dial international phone calls to Romania
  • The number in the designation of:
    -- Interstate 40, a freeway that runs from California to North Carolina
    -- U.S. Route 40, the 2,285-mile (3,677 km) highway that runs from Baltimore, Maryland, to Park City, Utah, a portion of which follows the National Road
    -- European route E40 from Calais to Ridder
    -- The A40 and M40, important highways in the UK. The A40 is a trunk road in England and Wales, connecting London to Fishguard. The M40 motorway is the second motorway in the British transport network to connect London to Birmingham
  • "40", a 1983 song by U2 from their album War
  • "40'" is the title of a song by Franz Ferdinand
  • In the title of the Food Network show $40 a Day
  • In the name of WD-40, a spray lubricant
  • In the name of the food additive FD & C Red Dye #40, commonly known as Red 40;
  • The 40 ounce (1.14 litre) size used for liquor, a term commonly referred to in Canada
  • The number of questions asked in the theory road test in the Republic of Ireland
  • The number of thieves in Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, from Thousand and One Nights (both the numbers 40 and 1001 are more likely to mean "many" than to indicate a specific number)
  • The customary number of hours in a regular workweek in some Western countries. The song, "40 Hour Week (For a Livin')" by Alabama (as well as their album, 40-Hour Week), takes its name from the standard workweek length.
  • Many distilled alcoholic beverages (such as vodka) contain approximately 40 percent alcohol by volume
  • The jersey number of Pat Tillman, which was retired by the Arizona Cardinals
  • The jersey number of Gayle Sayers, which was retired by the Chicago Bears
  • UB40 is a form for those claiming unemployment benefits in the United Kingdom. The band UB40 was named after this form
  • The number of positions on a number of radio countdown programs, most notably American Top 40 and American Country Countdown.
  • Generally considered the number of points that a Premier League team needs to avoid relegation.
  • Forty is the number of weeks for an average term of pregnancy, counting from the woman’s last menstrual period.
  • The age for people is middle age in some cultures.
  • The number of the French department Landes
  • In tennis, the number 40 represents the third point gained in a game. A score of 40-40 (three points each) is called "deuce", at which time a player must score two consecutive points to win the game.
  • Ronald Reagan was the 40th president of the United States;
  • In the song "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson, the lyrics state that "For forty days and for forty nights / the law was on her side" in reference to the Genesis story of Noah.
That's all folks; see you tomorrow.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 20

Sweet sassy molassey I can almost taste the denture cream. We are getting close. Below is a list I ran before on this blog a long time ago (and I changed the title from 50 to 40) so forgive me for running it again but I thought the list was pretty appropriate as I can get closer to the day of my birth, which is documented on Wikipedia. And I edited the page to add a certain someone's birthday but you might want to hurry because I don't think it will be up very long. (Update: After 2 attempts to keep it on there I got in a little bit of trouble with their moderators. Mrs. Shife saved a screen shot which hopefully I can share later.)

16 things that it took me almost 40 years to learn
by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I wish I had!)
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Men are like fine wine ... They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

See you tomorrow.

Countdown to 40 - Day 19

I have been with my lovely wife now more than 13 years (married 5 1/2) and last night I was reminiscing so I played our wedding song, "Remember When" by Alan Jackson. Listening to it again just reminded me even more how it is a song that really speaks to both of us. I know not everyone is a country music fan and I only listen to it occasionally but the song just really defines our relationship. Mrs. Shife is a little stressed out right now trying to finalize everything for my birthday party - which is going to be great - but no matter how everything turns out, the most important thing will be spending the day with her and the little man. And it will be another precious moment in the life I have had with most beautiful woman I know.

Remember when I was young and so were you
and time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 18

I needed a good laugh after spending nearly 7 hours watching the excruciating painful 20-inning baseball game between the Mets and the Cardinals. It took 19 innings before someone finally scored a run. The Mets won 2-1, and this might go down as one of the strangest games ever. Anyway like I said I needed a nice chuckle so here it is ...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Talk to you tomorrow.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 17

So this is my last Saturday as a 39-year-old dumb, white guy and I am going to spend it with my lovely wife, adorable baby boy, and the fantabulous fat basset appreciating the awesomeness that Mother Nature has served up today. It is absolutely beautiful outside and the Shifley family is going to enjoy it as much as possible. Baby Shife has his heart set on going to the park today and I surely can't say no to that face. I hope you have a lovely day as well. Talk to you tomorrow.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 16

We are less than 7 days away and I am doing OK. I have been thinking about my Mom quite a bit and mostly because every day I just miss her and because I know she would have surprised me somehow on my birthday. She might have flown in for my party or had someone play a joke on me about turning 40 because she is silly like that. And she definitely would have sent over some gag gifts about getting older. I know there will be surprises on my birthday but it was always nice talking to my Mom because it is a special day for me and her. She was all alone in the world while she gave birth to me in a military hospital because my biological dad was overseas in Vietnam. We were very, very close from the beginning because I was pretty sick as a baby, and my biological dad ended up abandoning us. In the end it all worked out but she had to be so strong for both of us and I can't imagine how scared she might have been. Only 21 and having to take care of a little guy and your husband just divorced you. Like I said in the end we survived and now I am going to be 40. Anyway I know she is in a better place but a little selfishness creeps in and I just wish I could have her for one more day. She will let me know somehow in someway that she is thinking of me because ever since she passed away I have felt her presence.
Not really a great segue but I was going to talk about what I will do on my birthday. Well I mentioned that we are having a party, and beyond that there are only 3 things I am certain of on the day of my birth. I will tell Mrs. Shife, Baby Shife, and Quincy that I love them and thank them for making me feel special, I will call one of my best friends from college who was born on the same day, and I will drink a few beers at about 12:01 am on April 24 while I watch "The Big Lebowski."
Until tomorrow, have a good one and not on the rug, man.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 15

One thing I thought would be different when I hit 40 would be my obsession with my favorite sports teams. I am not obnoxious, and I don't spend 4 hours a day on message boards but I do love my teams. The problem is that my love for these franchises gets a little too personal some times. I can be a bit cranky when my team doesn't play well, and I take the losses and bad play personally. Like I have something to do with how bad they are playing or it reflects poorly on myself because my team stinks. It is beyond ridiculous and I am smart enough to know that my behavior should not be affected by grown men who ultimately could care less about my happiness, but I still fret and get all worked up over my teams. I know I would be much happier if I wasn't so into my teams but deep down I know this is just the way it is going to be for me. Part of it is my personality, and part of it is keeping a connection with family, friends, and memories. For example, I love the St. Louis Cardinals, and when I look back I don't think about the games they lost but I remember fondly at the games I went to with my Grandad as a little boy or talking to my Mom on the phone after the Cardinals won the World Series in 2006 while I was dressed up in my Captain of the Fallopian Swim Team Halloween costume or taking my lovely wife to her first Cardinals game where she broke out in hives due to the heat and humidity or having my heart fill with joy as I sat with my little man watching our first game together. So yes I know I need to take my obsession down a notch but in the end it is worth it because it takes me back to times I will never forget and always cherish.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 14

Somebody sent me this list about turning 40 but I can't remember who it was ....
1. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
7. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.
9. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. You can't remember who sent you this list.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 13

Softball season gets going tonight and I have to start the season on the disabled list. I am still recuperating from my ankle surgery and the doctor still has not given me the clearance to run yet. I see him next Monday so I am hoping he says all's well. Usually I start the year perfectly healthy but by the end of the season I have done something to myself. If it is not the ankle, it is the hamstring or the calf or the thigh or or the shoulder the elbow. Maybe starting the year on the sideline will be my only down time and everything will go smoothly. Most of the time the injuries occur because I am a stubborn man who runs around like his shortened curlies are on fire. I have started to remedy this problem by stretching before games and telling myself that I am only playing beer league softball so I can take it down a notch. We shall see how the year progresses but I am hoping for 5 months of good health and no pictures to share like the one below.
Talk to you tomorrow.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 12

I went ahead and got my annual physical scheduled for the Monday after my birthday. One of the things recommended when you hit 40 is to get the prostate examined - but now I am hearing you can wait until you are 50. Whatever the case might be I will be going to see the family doc fully expecting the glove treatment. A friend told me that 70% of dudes get an erection when they are getting their prostate checked out, and that is what I am most frightened about. Seriously I really don't want a late birthday present. I might be one of the dudes in the 30% for all I know but I think I might take some precautions just in case I do get a visit from the boner fairy. My plan is to wear chaps. The doctor will have access to the parts he needs to access and if I do get a fresh supply of wood I can at least hide it with the chaps. What do you think?
Talk to you later.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 11

They say it comes in threes. First, Tiger Woods. Second, Jesse James. Third, Mr. Shife?

Dear Friends:

I would like to take a moment to announce that I have an addiction, and in an effort to shift the blame from myself to a trendy illness save my lucrative gigs and endorsements the things I hold most dear, I will be entering rehab to deal with what’s behind the fun stuff I have gotten away with until now my transgressions. I realize now that there are other people in the world, not just me, my getting caught behavior has hurt the people closest to me, namely, me. Ouch. You have no freaking idea.


I can only say that I am a horndog human, and humans make mistakes like cheating on their wives with tattooed Nazi freaks who can’t keep their mouths shut. With the help of God, who I hope remembers me, because I haven’t said His name in years without “Dammit” afterward, and the support of my family, who I hope buys all this nonsense about me having a disease, like Diabetes or something, I hope to one day soon be able to return to my favorite strip clubs marriage and career as a better, stronger person with a separate cell phone and a better email password who can make things right and never again get caught with a cocktail waitress lose sight of the most important thing in my life: casual sex with freaky women my family.


I ask for your Playboy Cyber Club login information patience and respect for my privacy during this difficult time. I hope that one day I can once again be that guy you thought maybe you heard about once the man you expect me to be, and that I know I was meant to be: a guy who only cheats with people who have as much to lose as he does, like married mothers of three who don’t want to be in tabloids.


Thank you. And God bless my lawyer you.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 10

When I tell people my age they are always a little shocked because I have never looked my age. I despised having a baby face in high school and college because that is probably the one time you want to look older but I definitely do not mind it now. I was thinking of telling people when they ask that I was 47 just to really freak them out but that is just me. I enjoy playing little jokes with complete strangers. One of my favorites is when the telemarketers call and they ask for me but I just tell them something like "Mr. Shifley has joined the circus" or "Mr. Shifley is currently making adult films in Canada." Good times. Well I spent the day working in the yard so I will be a little sore tomorrow but I am going to reward myself this evening by having a cold Fat Tire or 5 and firing up the BBQ to enjoy a tasty animal. Mrs. Shife and I have to flip a coin to see who gets to wear the BBQ cooking outfit. I hope she wins. For some reason she looks a lot better in a g-string than I do.
I hope you have a wonderful Saturday as well.
See you tomorrow.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 9

This post has little to do with me turning 40. It is more about the other old man that I live with, Quincy the 12-year-old fat basset. He has been neglected on this blog since Baby Shife arrived on the scene more than a year ago so I decided to share a new photo of Captain Furry Pants. There are so many things wrong with this picture that I am not sure where to start. Do I begin with him just being on the furniture or the fact that he has his furvaceous body spread out over so many pillows or that he needs to be on the pillows because the leather couch is not just comfy enough for him?
The picture was taken two nights ago at about 11:55, and Mrs. Shife and I still have not figured out what he was doing.
Baby Shife was having a rough night. He was crying and screaming so Quincarelli might have just wanted to get away from the noise so he went to the living room to get some sleep or he was trying to blend into the couch with the white pillows so we would not find him or he was covering his ears with the pillows to drown out the noise or he was just being a crazy basset.
Feel free to add your own interpretation.
Have a good Friday. Talk to you tomorrow.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 8

8 down, 16 to go. Sorry there is not much going on at the Dumb, White Guy headquarters today. The fat basset is getting a bath and the weather forecast in Boise is about as disappointing as the crotchless underwear I ordered online last year. I can pose one lame question to you today as there has been one thing I have been pondering as the hours grow shorter to Fortyhood. Can I flip my lid and wear it backwards? Or does my hat need to always face forward since I will soon be the distinguished age of 40?
Have a good one. Blog at you tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 7

Somebody reminded me that my post yesterday was a little melancholy. It wasn't my intention but I think I was still feeling crestfallen (yay! I got to use of my favorite words today) after my Mom's birthday. Whatever the case might be I got a little dose of laughter this morning, which I heard might be the best medicine.

The story begins in a galaxy not so far away and I had just laid down Baby Shife for his morning nap. The down time allowed to catch up on some light reading as I took care of business in the bathroom. Well as I was done doing my imitation of a bear in the woods I noticed that there was only a small amount of toilet paper left on the roll. I know I am almost 40 and you would think that I would have learned one of life's most important lessons - Always check the toilet paper inventory before it is deuces wild. I checked for a spare roll in the medicine cabinet but nada. So I am appropriately sh*t out of luck. After making the best out of the limited TP I have at my disposal I am still in need of materials. My options are now to fish some discarded tissues out of the trash to finish the job, beg the fat basset to awaken from his 27th nap of the day and hook a dog owner up, or stand up, clench my cheeks, and waddle to the garage to get another roll of toilet paper.

I decided to go with the clench and waddle approach. A natural choice for sure but there were some logistical problems with my decision. First, I will have to waddle by a huge window that faces our backyard. Second, it is a clear, sunny day and the huge tree in our backyards has not bloomed (do trees bloom?) so no protection and 100% visibility for people looking into our house. Third, no window treatments either. They are ordered and not due for another week or so our old ones are not hanging up. Fourth, our backyard backs up to a school playground. Fifth, did I mention I was taking care of business during recess?

So to recap I am going to clench and waddle by our huge windows during a bright, clear day while upwards of up to 100 school kids are playing near our backyard. Normally the kids do not even notice me if I am in the yard or in the house but I just figured an extremely pale butt devoid of clothing could be something that catches their attention. Well I clenched and waddled as best and quickly as I could and managed to clean myself up, but now I am just paranoid and on the look out for the police to show up at my door to ask me a few questions. Good times.
Talk to you tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 6

So you might be wondering do I have any big plans for my birthday this year? OK well maybe you were not wondering but just pretend you were and nobody will get hurt except for those people who rooted for Duke last night. Yeah you know who you are. Did you enjoy hearing all the babies cry? All in all it was a good game and it was nice to see Butler play the Dookies tough but I still find it less than favorable that they won. Anyway back on task ... my birthday. Well I will be having a party with family and friends on my day of birth and that is about all I know. Mrs. Shife is in charge and is not telling me much, but if you happen to be in the neighborhood you are more than welcome to stop by and celebrate with us. You might want to get there early because I am not sure what kind of condition I will be in after 8 pm or so. I definitely do not drink as much as I used to but April 24 might be one of the few times during the year that I tie one on or I might try to head down the path to drunkeness and be in bed by 8:30. We shall see, but if you are in the vicinity please join us for the Sweet Sassy Molassey - Shife is Turning 40 fiesta.

Monday, April 05, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 5

Happy Birthday Mom. Today you would have been 61 and I wish you were with us. It has been nearly 2 years since you passed away and I still miss you terribly. We are doing well and your grandson hears about his Ma-Maw all the time. He is awesome and I know you would absolutely adore him. We will be thinking about you a lot today and thank you for so much for helping me become the man and Dad I am today. And I know you got a big chuckle watching me pick out an outfit for the little man for his 1-year-old portraits. Oh the fits and tirades we used to throw when you made us get all dressed up for pictures, but now I know the love and joy you felt when you did get us all spruced up for those photos that meant so much to you. I love you Mom.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 4

Not much going on here. It is Easter in Boise, Idaho and nearly everything is closed today. I don't know if it is like that in your part of the woods but that is how we are rolling in the City of Trees. And yes that is Boise's nickname, which is a joke if you compared us to any other metro area because I think we might have more trees than Phoenix but that is about it. Right now I am just preparing for the horrible realization that Duke is going to win the National Championship tomorrow and it is going to be a long year dealing with that. And do you know what happens when Duke wins? That's right babies cry, and you see Baby Shife below giving you a perfect example. (He had his 1-year-old portraits yesterday and this is one of the shots we decided not to keep but it still makes me laugh because he is so upset and just wants to go home. He is saying "No more pictures Da-Da, and please make Duke lose. Duke stinks.")


So root for Butler tomorrow and hope that Duke plays like a bunch of douchers because if Butler wins the National Championship then all the babies are happy and the world is a better place.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 3

One thing that does weigh heavily on me as I am getting another year older is that I became a father at 38. I do the math and realize that I will be 57 when my son graduates from high school. Unless of course he turns out to be a child prodigy then I will only be 45 when he moves on to college. I am active and take care of myself but I just wonder how active I will be when I am 57. My Mom was 21 when I was born and my Dad was 19, and when I was in high school I thought they were seriously ancient. I just wonder what my son is going to think of his old man when he is a snot-nosed teen. I try not to think about it too much because I have no idea how the future is going to play out and I should just focus on the time right now that I am spending with my son. And that is what I will do but still sometimes the mind wanders into the irrational fear zone and you never know what it is going to pop up.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 2

So what's going on? It is pretty sad that I have blogger blockafter only 1 day but then I was inspired after crushing some whiteheads in the bathroom. And unfortunately that is not a really bad euphemism for masturbation. I honestly thought by the time I turned 40 that I would no longer have to worry about popping blackheads and zits. Seriously after 25 plus years of getting overnight visits from the acne wizard you would think that you would have paid your dues, but guess again. They are still going to be there when the big 4-0 comes. But if that is my big beef about hitting 40 then I will take it. I just hope when I am 50 I don't have to worry about these penile warts anymore. Does anyone know when they go away?

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Countdown to 40 - Day 1

I thought I would share my thoughts and feelings as I get closer and closer to the big 4-0. Plus I need to seriously get my butt in gear with this blog and actually do some blogging. It is a darn shame that they don't blog themselves.

So on to the big 4-0 ... some of you beloved readers have been there and some of you will be there some day. Well my some day is just around the corner - April 24 - and my goal is to write every day up to then about what is going on with me and what I am experiencing. I know when the clock strikes midnight I am still going to be the same person but just another year older. Turning 40 can be scary I guess and some people probably think it is a good time to take stock of their life. Every day will be different for me but right now I feel fine. The only thing of consequence to report is that I did accomplish one of my goals and still have hair. I have had a love-hate relationship with my hair for years and I honestly thought I would be a baldy by the time 40 rolled around. Both of grandfathers were bald, my uncles are bald, and my biological father was a little light on top as well. With those genes, I knew I had a advancing bald line in my future that would threaten the livelihood of my curly brown hair but my little friends held on and put up a good fight so it looks like I made it to 40 with hair. So with that going for me I naturally chose to go with the bald look to really reward my hair for all of its hard work and shaved it all off. Actually it is more of the boot camp look because there is stubble. I really like it and I just have to shave it once a week then I am good to go. So that is day 1 of the countdown. Talk to you tomorrow.